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Companies try variety ways to increase their sales.what are they?which one is most effective.discuss and give your opinion

Companies try variety ways to increase their sales. what are they? which one is most effective. discuss and give your opinion le2JJ
Nowadays all companies want to expand their sales because of huge compition among the business world. Therefore, they all use number of methods in terms of increase their sales. One of those methods is advertising, company owners give plethora of advertisements to impress their customers. Such as tv commercials, handouts, magazines and bill boards or they hire famous celebrities as their brand ambassador to attracting more and more consumers towards their products. In addition, another method is promotion. People always wish to buy quality goods in cheap prices, therefore, companies often introduce lot of promotions. For instance, add discounts on selected items or buy one get one free Furthermore, companies have introduced lucky draws to their customers. They can also get high demans to their products from these draws because if someone wants to enter the draw they must buy that product and should post to the relevant company along with the piece of packet or box of the good or companies print secret numbers on their products and ask customers to send those numbers to given mobile number. To conclude although there are number of way to increase the sales by impressing customers in my view I believe that advertising is the best way to promote their goods because all other methods (promotions, discounts or draws)need publicity to reach masses. Therefore advertising is the only way to make people aware.
Nowadays all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
want to expand their sales
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of huge
Possible spelling mistake found.
compition
among the business world.
Therefore
, they all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
in terms of increase their sales. One of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
is advertising,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
owners give plethora of advertisements to impress their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
. Such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
commercials, handouts, magazines and bill
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
boards or
they hire
Consider using "celebrities".
famous celebrities
as their brand ambassador to attracting more and more consumers towards their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
In addition
, another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
is promotion.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
always wish to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
quality
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
prices,
therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
introduce
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
promotions.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
discounts on selected items or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
one free
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
have introduced lucky draws to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
. They can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
high
Possible spelling mistake found.
demans
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
from these draws
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if someone wants to enter the draw they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
and should post to the relevant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
along with the piece of packet or box of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
print secret
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and ask
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
.
To conclude
although there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of way to increase the sales by impressing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
in my view I believe that advertising is the best way to promote their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
all other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
(promotions, discounts or draws)need publicity to reach masses.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
advertising is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
aware.
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IELTS essay Companies try variety ways to increase their sales. what are they? which one is most effective. discuss and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
231 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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