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Business organizations should hire employees for their entire lives. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays many other countries increase their economy based on plethora of business organizations, so business organizations should need to require workers for their entire lifetime safety. This essay agrees with this statement but sometimes it disagree with this opinion. This essay will discuss both of the agree and disagree points with that statement. Today's world are globally increased themselves, by many other global business organizations. Business organizations like garments factory, car brands, or many other global or international organizations. For example, garments factories they want more employees; because, they need to increase their profit also for increasing their business organizations. In addition, it is very important things that if a organization don't get more employees they face loss in their business. Because of, their business organizations may be shut down; as well as, the countries economy also be hampered. However, sometimes it is not possible to hire employees for business organizations; because, if a company hire a lots of employees into their organizations they need to get a salary to them. For this reason, many business organizations get loss profit, because they don't give proper salary. Moreover, it is very important for a organization that they need to increase their company facilities. In conclusion, for safety to business organizations they need to hire more employees and organized that properly.
Nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other countries increase their economy based on plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to require workers for their entire lifetime safety. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it
After ‘it’, use the third-person verb form “disagrees”.
disagree
with this opinion. This essay will discuss both of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
and disagree points with that statement.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
's world are globally increased themselves, by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
like garments factory, car brands, or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other global or international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
.
For example
, garments factories they want more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to increase their profit
also
for increasing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
.
In addition
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things that if
Use “an” instead of ‘a’ if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. ‘an article’, ‘an hour’.
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
they face loss in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
may
be shut
down;
as well
as, the countries economy
also
be hampered
.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it is not possible to hire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, if a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
hire
The plural noun “lots” cannot be used with the article “a”. Did you mean “a lot” or “lots”?
a lots
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
into their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a salary to them.
For this reason
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
loss profit,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they don't give proper salary.
Moreover
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
Use “an” instead of ‘a’ if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. ‘an article’, ‘an hour’.
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
that they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to increase their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
facilities.
In conclusion
, for safety to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to hire more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
and organized that
properly
.

IELTS essay Business organizations should hire employees for their entire lives.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
219 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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