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Companies should provide sports and social facilities for local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.7

Companies should provide sports and social facilities for local communities. v. 7
The trend nowadays is that big companies are working with local communities in order to improve people’s well-being. In my view, I could not agree more with this tendency and this essay will show why such measures can be beneficial not only for the local population, but also for the firm itself. A facture often consumes resources from the venue it is installed. Most corporations consume huge amount of electrical power and, some of them can even pollute the environment where they are located. For instance, a metallurgical plant may consume millions of dollars in electrical energy each month and it is responsible for wasting metal detritus in the nature. To solve these issues, city authorities should encourage those businesses to invest in local well-being, such as sports and social initiatives. As a result, the people who live in the neighbourhood would suffer less and have a better life. When the region where the venture is located passes through a development process, not only people will enjoy this progress, but also the company will usufruct from the benefits. Local development can reach all the businesses, since the place will become wealthier, therefore leading to a reduction in prices in general, including taxes. To illustrate this situation, we can a city in the countryside of Bahia: when Ford arrived there and invested in the city, there was an enhancement of people’s life conditions, following a rise in the profits of the company. If, rather than investing in local development, companies act aggressively, damaging nature and, consequently, local peoples' lifestyle, the results would be completely the opposite, leading to a hostile attitude towards the company. In conclusion, I personally believe that companies have a moral duty towards the community they are installed, and a good way to do it is by providing some improvement in the lives of local citizens, such as encouraging sports practice and developing social amenities.
The trend nowadays is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are working with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
communities in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
well-being. In my view, I could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
more with this tendency and this essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
why such measures can be beneficial not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
population,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for the firm itself.

A facture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
consumes resources from the venue it
is installed
. Most corporations consume huge amount of electrical power and,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them can even pollute the environment where they
are located
.
For instance
, a metallurgical plant may consume millions of dollars in electrical energy each month and it is responsible for wasting metal detritus in the nature. To solve these issues, city authorities should encourage those businesses to invest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
well-being, such as sports and social initiatives.
As a result
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
would suffer less and have a better life.

When the region where the venture
is located
passes through a development process, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will enjoy this progress,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
will
Possible spelling mistake found.
usufruct
from the benefits.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Local
development can reach all the businesses, since the place will become wealthier,
therefore
leading to a reduction in prices
in general
, including taxes. To illustrate this situation, we can a city in the countryside of Bahia: when Ford arrived there and invested in the city, there was an enhancement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
life conditions, following a rise in the profits of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
. If,
rather
than investing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
development,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
act
aggressively
, damaging nature and,
consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
peoples' lifestyle, the results would be completely the opposite, leading to a hostile attitude towards the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

In conclusion
, I
personally
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
have a moral duty towards the community they
are installed
, and a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to do it is by providing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
improvement in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
citizens, such as encouraging sports practice and developing social amenities.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Companies should provide sports and social facilities for local communities. v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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