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Companies should provide sports and social facilities for local communities. To what extent do you agree.

Businesses play a major role within our society. It is a creative and competitive activity that improve the standards of living in a society. It satisfy peoples wants and needs which they cannot satisfy themselves, improving the quality of life and shaping the society. The pillars of any business are its employees. It is the duty of the companies and employers to take care of its employees. One way is to provide sports and social facilities to its employees from the local community. This depicts that the company is not solely economically driven in terms of money but also on the well being of its employees. Playing sports and engaging in social activities can improve peoples' health physically and mentally contributing to a healthy well-being. These activities are also a good exercise for team playing bringing the community and its employees closer. This allocates a healthy working environment. A healthy and a happy employee is a loyal employee who understands the company's goals and status and works towards a common goal. This is beneficial for both parties. In conclusion, I am in complete agreement that companies should provide sports and recreational facilities for the locals in the community for the betterment of both the well being of its employees and the growth of the company on a larger scale.
Businesses play a major role within our society. It is a creative and competitive activity that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the standards of living in a society. It
After ‘It’, use the third-person verb form “satisfies”.
satisfy
peoples wants and needs which they cannot satisfy themselves, improving the quality of life and shaping the society. The pillars of any business are its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
. It is the duty of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and employers to take care of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
. One way is to provide sports and social facilities to its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
from the local community. This depicts that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
is not
solely
economically
driven in terms of money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
on the
This word is normally spelled with a hyphen.
well being
of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
. Playing sports and engaging in social activities can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
peoples' health
physically
and mentally contributing to a healthy well-being. These activities are
also
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
exercise for team playing bringing the community and its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
closer. This allocates a healthy working environment. A healthy and a happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
is a loyal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
who understands the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
's goals and status and works towards a common goal. This is beneficial for both parties.

In conclusion
, I am in complete agreement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
should provide sports and recreational facilities for the locals in the community for the betterment of both the
This word is normally spelled with a hyphen.
well being
of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
and the growth of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
on a larger scale.
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IELTS essay Companies should provide sports and social facilities for local communities.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
219 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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