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Nowadays the way many people interact with each other was changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

Technology is an important source in our daily life. Society claims that technology change the relationships of crowd in numerous ways. There is a plethora of causes which we are going to be discusses. I admit that in my opinion it is positive mode which has good impact on people. Firstly, public spend lot of time on using technology instead of spending with family, where the damage start. The main reason for this view is, interaction between the people became rare as a result physical interaction of people is below than 20%. Mainly, youth become addicted to the technology and damaged their relations. For example, 65% of people just spend most of time on technology rather than family which is proved by The Times of India. Secondly, there are both positive and negative. But, in my view it is a positive development just because where we have no chance to meet a person they we can see him by technology as well as we can talk. Which make a strong relief to their family. For instance, A boy living in Canada can easily talk with their parents by technology. Which is simply superb. In the concussion, from the above discussion and my personal opinion, I want to say that technology is very good source but we are taking it in bad way. Try to restrict it and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
source in our daily life. Society claims that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the relationships of crowd in numerous ways. There is a plethora of causes which we are going to be discusses. I admit that in my opinion it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
mode which has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
impact on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Firstly
, public spend
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
time on using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
instead
of spending with family, where the damage
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: “starts”.
start
. The main reason for this view is, interaction between the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
became rare
as a result
physical interaction of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
is below than 20%.
Mainly
, youth become addicted to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and damaged their relations.
For example
, 65% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
spend
Consider using “most time” or “most of the time”.
most of time
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
rather
than family which
is proved
by The Times of India.

Secondly
, there are both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, in my view it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
where we have no chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
a person they we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
him by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
as well
as we can talk.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a strong relief to their family.
For instance
, A boy living in Canada can
easily
talk with their parents by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. Which is
simply
superb.

In the concussion, from the above discussion and my personal opinion, I want to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
source
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we are taking it in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
way. Try to restrict it
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.
and

IELTS essay Nowadays the way many people interact with each other was changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
226 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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