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Communication through the years

Communication through the years 7aDwY
What type of activities did people do in their free time before the invention of radios, televisions, and computers? I think before people has a CD player and CD players and television or video. Maybe they don’t have computer like game. They just can play outside and play with their friends and play together or do something like pushups or running or swimming. Because their time they don’t have any things like high-tech knowledge like phone, computer, CD player. They just can play outside and play together. Do you think this was a better way of life compared to how we live nowadays? I think maybe now the 2021 is more good is better than the past time because I think past time is so boring. Maybe some people in the past time will think the future may be more easy to go outside. They can make some spaceship. Maybe they think the future, maybe everyone will go outside and go to another planet. In 50 years’ time, do you think things will change much or will we do the same activities in our free time? Maybe the most famous? ? in the media is CCTV and Tiktop, Bibibli, and Weibo, and Wechat. This five A-P-P is the most famous and special media in the country. Because now all the young people like to open their phone. Their first idea is open the Tiktok A-P-P and look some vlog and maybe some game video because they like it. But some old people like to reading some news on TV and that, we need to use CCTV1. And some business will like to see Weibo and Wechat because they think this A-P-P is the most important in their life, most special in their life. And finally we have maybe internet because it is? world. Maybe it is a? cosmo? ? in the world because everyone needs to use internet. Maybe internet can be Wechat, can be Tiktok, can be Baidu, it can search everything. Now people don’t use some direction, maybe they don’t need some book, they just open phone, computer, and they open the internet. They search something quickly, fast, and easy. What is the most important media source for people in your country and of your age? Newspaper is the most, most, important thing in the world. Many old people they don’t need use phone, they don’t want to use phone, they don’t know how can use phone. But they can read newspaper. If we don’t have newspaper this world we can’t have some scientists, we can’t have anything because we just like monkeys, we don’t know anything. Because newspapers like a diaries. Maybe some people they will write something that is like diaries but it is the world things, like world newspaper and Chinese newspapers. We can choose and it will change every day. Maybe today you can read Biden is go to the another country and yesterday you will see China is the most strongest country in the world. So I think it is important. How important are newspapers? What is their future in the age of the Internet? And the internet. Internet will be more stronger than now because it is important things. If we don’t have internet we haven’t Wechat, any media A-P-P, and media game like Baidu. So I think internet is most important media in the world.
What type of activities did
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do in their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the invention of radios, televisions, and computers?

I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
a CD player and CD players and television or video. Maybe they don’t have computer like game. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
with their friends and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
together or do something like
Possible spelling mistake found.
pushups
or running or swimming.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they don’t have any things like high-tech knowledge like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
, computer, CD player. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
together.

Do you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
this was a better way of life compared to how we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
nowadays?

I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
maybe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
the 2021 is more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
is better than the past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
boring. Maybe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
the future may be more easy to go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
. They can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
spaceship. Maybe they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
the future, maybe everyone will go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
and go to another planet.

In 50 years’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, do you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
things will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
much or will we do the same activities in our free time?

Maybe the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
? ?
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is CCTV and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tiktop
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bibibli
, and Weibo, and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Wechat
. This five A-P-P is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
and special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
all the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
open
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
. Their
first
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
open
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tiktok
A-P-P and look
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
vlog and maybe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
game video
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they like it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to reading
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
news on TV and that, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
CCTV1. And
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
business will like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
Weibo and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Wechat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
this A-P-P is the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
in their life, most special in their life. And
finally
we have maybe internet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is?
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
world
. Maybe it is
Did you forget something after 'a'?
a?
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
cosmo
? ?
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
everyone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
internet. Maybe internet can be
Possible spelling mistake found.
Wechat
, can be
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tiktok
, can be Baidu, it can search everything.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
direction, maybe they don’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
book, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
open
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
, computer, and they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
open
the internet. They search something
quickly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
, and easy.

What is the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
source for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and of your age?

Newspaper is the most, most,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
thing in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
they don’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
Did you mean "to use"?
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
, they don’t want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
, they don’t know how can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
they can read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
. If we don’t have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
we can’t have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
scientists, we can’t have anything
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like monkeys, we don’t know anything.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
like
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a diary" or simply "diaries"?
a diaries
. Maybe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
they will write something
that is
like diaries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
things, like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
and Chinese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
. We can choose and it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
every day. Maybe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
you can read Biden is
Consider using a past participle here: "gone".
go
to the another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and yesterday you will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
China is the
Use only "strongest" (without 'most') when you use the superlative.
most strongest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

How
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
? What is their future in the age of the Internet?

And the internet. Internet will be
Use only "stronger" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more stronger
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
things. If we don’t have internet we haven’t
Possible spelling mistake found.
Wechat
, any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
A-P-P, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
game like Baidu.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
internet is
Did you mean "the most"?
most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
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IELTS essay Communication through the years

Essay
  American English
10 paragraphs
564 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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