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communal online encyclopedias-integrated essay.

communal online encyclopedias-integrated essay. JoQ06
The professor in the lecture compares and contrasts the advantages of the online communal encyclopedia with the disadvantages mentioned in the reading passage stating mainly the strategies and protections those are provided to make the online communal encyclopedia more reliable. First of all the lecturer points out a fact that whether it is on or offline the information of any communal encyclopedia is never perfect. So according to her it would be a prejudice to say that the communal online encyclopedias are inaccurate, rather it is easier to rectify the inaccuracy online than the traditional encyclopedias. Secondly, she completely disagrees with the passage that mentions about communal online encyclopedias can be changed by the hackers and vandals because many useful strategies are being taken to protect the originality of the encyclopedias by creating read-only formats and assigning single editors for the articles so that it can not be altered by the invaders. Finally, the professor claims that the online communal encyclopedias have greater advantages than the traditional ones because the larger diversities of interst in academic use are not reflected on, in the case of the traditional encyclopedias, as it has limited space than the online encyclopedias. Hence, it represents the greater interest due to the unlimited space available online.
The professor in the lecture compares and contrasts the advantages of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
communal encyclopedia with the disadvantages mentioned in the reading passage stating
mainly
the strategies and protections those
are provided
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
communal encyclopedia more reliable.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
the lecturer points out a fact that whether it is on or offline the information of any communal encyclopedia is never perfect.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
according to her it would be a prejudice to say that the communal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
encyclopedias are inaccurate,
rather
it is easier to rectify the inaccuracy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
than the traditional encyclopedias.

Secondly
, she completely disagrees with the passage that
Did you mean simply "mentions communal"? You do not need the word "about" here.
mentions about communal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
encyclopedias can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
by the hackers and vandals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
useful strategies are
being taken
to protect the originality of the encyclopedias by creating read-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
formats and assigning single editors for the articles
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it can not
be altered
by the invaders.

Finally
, the professor claims that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
communal encyclopedias have greater advantages than the traditional ones
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the larger diversities of
Possible spelling mistake found.
interst
in academic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
are not reflected on, in the case of the traditional encyclopedias, as it has limited space than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
encyclopedias.
Hence
, it represents the greater interest due to the unlimited space available
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
.

IELTS essay communal online encyclopedias-integrated essay.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
210 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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