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INTEGRATED ESSAY SCHOOL ORGANIZATION

INTEGRATED ESSAY SCHOOL ORGANIZATION r8DY6
The passage and the lecture are about the school organization. The article states that schools in the United States follow the graded system similar to European system of school organization. In the contrary, the professor points out the disadvantages of graded school system in the United States. The passage says that children start the elementary school in the age of 5 or 6 years of age. According to the lecture, many children have individual differences in maturity and readiness in the age of 5 or 6 years to begin the school. Some children are ready but some are not socially, mentally and physically matured to attend a school at this age. Even if children have significant differences in teen age, still the graded system group them together to learn in the same grade. Secondly, the lecture further explains about the problems resulted from the whole issue. He opines that the differences in maturity and readiness create boredom in the part of some students, which result in drop outs. In addition, their performances are evaluated by many kind of standardized tests, those neglect the individual differences among students. Thus they measure only partial achievements of the students. The final point is that the graded system provide similar materials for all the students. So the faster learners have to wait for the new materials, even though they already have learned the old materials. Hence, the professor concludes that graded system is not ideal for the schools in United States.
The passage and the lecture are about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
organization. The article states that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
in the United States follow the graded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
similar to European
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
organization. In the contrary, the professor points out the disadvantages of graded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
in the United States.

The passage says that
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children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
the elementary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 5 or 6 years of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. According to the lecture,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
differences
in maturity and readiness in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 5 or 6 years to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are ready
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are not
socially
, mentally and
physically
matured to attend a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
at this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. Even if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
differences
in teen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
,
still
the graded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
group them together to learn in the same grade.

Secondly
, the lecture
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
about the problems resulted from the whole issue. He opines that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
differences
in maturity and readiness create boredom in the part of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
students, which result in
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
drop outs
.
In addition
, their performances
are evaluated
by
Possible agreement error. The noun kind seems to be countable; consider using: "many kinds".
many kind
of standardized
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
, those neglect the individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
differences
among students.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
they measure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
partial achievements of the students.

The final point is that the graded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
provide similar materials for all the students.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the faster learners
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
wait for the new materials,
even though
they already have learned the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
materials.
Hence
, the professor concludes that graded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
is not ideal for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the United States".
in United States
.
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IELTS essay INTEGRATED ESSAY SCHOOL ORGANIZATION

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
247 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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