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You have enough money to purchase a house or a business. What would you prefer to buy?Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer .

You have enough money to purchase a house or a business. What would you prefer to buy? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. donkr
I would like to invest my money in a business. Wealth is not a permanent asset. So, it will be a wise decision to invest the money for business, that I can compensate from the profit and buy a house as well. In addition, not only the business will fulfill my financial requirements in future, but also it will provide employment to other people. First of all, investing money in a business is a better option for the obvious reason that would increase my existing properties. At the same time, an own house needs a lot of maintenance work, which demands more expenditure. Although, it can give me comfort, but the extra financial burden may wipe out my mental peace. Where as, the same money can burgeon my limited financial status to a prosperous financial standing. Secondly, my entrepreneurship can create plenty of job opportunities for unemployed people. Thus, not only I can be benefitted, but also others can flourish from my business. On the other hand, purchasing house can give me only personal happiness and satisfaction. Therefore, I would rather purchase a business than a house, which can bring me financial prosperity and job engagement for many other people.
I would like to invest my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. Wealth is not a permanent asset.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it will be a wise decision to invest the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
, that I can compensate from the profit and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
as well
.
In addition
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
will fulfill my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
requirements
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it will provide employment to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, investing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
is a better option for the obvious reason that would increase my existing properties. At the same time, an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
needs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
maintenance work, which demands more expenditure. Although, it can give me comfort,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
burden may wipe out my mental peace.
Did you mean "Whereas"?
Where as
, the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can burgeon my limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
status to a prosperous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
standing.

Secondly
, my entrepreneurship can create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of job opportunities for unemployed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Thus
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
I can be
Possible spelling mistake found.
benefitted
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
others can flourish from my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, purchasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
can give me
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
personal happiness and satisfaction.

Therefore
, I would
rather
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
than a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
, which can bring me
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
prosperity and job engagement for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
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IELTS essay You have enough money to purchase a house or a business. What would you prefer to buy? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
200 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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