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Commitee of all carriers in the world

Commitee of all carriers in the world Yw8q5
It was written on one of the famous sites that In any society, the commitments of researchers and engineers are most critical than the commitments of artists and  writers. In my point of view, In the society each career has a different effect on it. all of the scientists, engineers, artists and writers are important for the society. First of all Contribution among every group is the most important issues in human societies. every job can improve society and it has positive or negative impact on sociaty it depends on what people do for instance an engineer builds a high, a beautiful building or places which attract a lot of tourists, furthermore make the city more beautiful also scientists explore a new and smart things that make the life goes better. Second, the society without artists and writers is meaningless. The artists provides a subject that reach to all person in the community, to the elderly people, adults, even the children. Many artists change the view of people by playing a character who is beautiful, nice, polite. For example many writers wrote a very an important book that many scientists took a lot of information from it and used them in their research, in addition to many other books which the schools and colleges used them. To sum up, society needs the scientists, engineers, artists and writers to build a strong one, the society is meaningless if it uses one or two of them without others. It needs them all to make a new exploration, a new building, to let ideas reach to the people and writing books to educate their community.
It
was written
on one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
sites that In any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, the commitments of researchers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineers
are most
Use "(critical)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
critical
than the commitments of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
and
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writers
. In my point of view, In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
each career has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
effect on it.
Consider using "all the".
all of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineers
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writers
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
Contribution among every group is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
issues in human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
every
job can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on
Possible spelling mistake found.
sociaty
it depends on what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do
for instance
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineer
builds a high, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
building or places which attract
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
tourists,
furthermore
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the city more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
explore a new and smart things that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the life goes better. Second, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writers
is meaningless. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
You should probably use "provide".
provides
a subject that reach to all person in the community, to the elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, adults, even the children.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the view of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by playing a character who is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
, nice, polite.
For example
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writers
wrote a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
book that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
took
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
information from it and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
them in their research,
in addition
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other books which the schools and colleges
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
them. To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
needs the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineers
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writers
to build a strong one, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
is meaningless if it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
one or two of them without others. It needs them all to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a new exploration, a new building, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
reach to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and writing books to educate their community.
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IELTS essay Commitee of all carriers in the world

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
272 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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