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College opportunities for Latino women

College opportunities for Latino women 2bq9o
First of all, I would like to say that I represent the Latino women that have struggled to achieve a college degree, and now I can say I am very thankful for having accomplished it. I have visualized that there is a real economic problem when deciding to go to college or not. It is not a matter of goodwill, unquestionably there are many issues to be considered before taking this enormous step. In this situation as a Latina, one of the main issues is the lack of economic funding. First of all, we have a close family relationship which is convenient when it comes to helping each other. The benefit goes all the way down to our extended family. Because we have many family members, the time and money we gain goes out to a lot of relatives for many years. Conversely, it has stressed my own personal and professional development. Generally speaking this a common scenario for many Latino women in my position. Nevertheless, when it was my turn to raise my hand, all of my relatives supported me. Maybe this was later than what I had planned for myself, but I did it. This is my personal conclusion which I think can be extended to all Latino women. With my family, I have received so much that now I can also give huge extensions of my time and also, my money to help all. My college degree is one of my most fulfilling moments in life, and with it so many more people near me will receive part of it.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, I would like to say that I represent the Latino women that have struggled to achieve a college degree, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
I can say I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
thankful for having accomplished it. I have visualized that there is a real economic problem when deciding to go to college or not. It is not a matter of goodwill,
unquestionably
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
issues to
be considered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
taking this enormous step. In this situation as a Latina, one of the main issues is the lack of economic funding.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, we have a close
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
relationship which is convenient when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to helping each other. The benefit goes all the way down to our extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members, the time and money we gain goes out to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
relatives for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years.
Conversely
, it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
personal and professional development.
Generally
speaking this a common scenario for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Latino women in my position.
Nevertheless
, when it was my turn to raise my hand, all of my relatives supported me. Maybe this was later than what I had planned for myself,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I did it. This is my personal conclusion which I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
can
be extended
to all Latino women. With my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, I have received
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
I can
also
give huge extensions of my time and
also
, my money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
all. My college degree is one of my most fulfilling moments in life, and with it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
near me will receive part of it.
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IELTS essay College opportunities for Latino women

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
263 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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