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College education is a new experiential environment for many people with different benefits.

College education is a new experiential environment for many people with different benefits. Nl93j
College education is a new experiential environment for many people with different benefits. First of all, the university helps us create a wide relationship with people around us such as friends, teachers, or people outside the learning environment. It doesn't only help us create a working network but also creates more opportunities to exchange knowledge and learn experiences. In addition, another equally important benefit that university gives us is soft skills. For example, the communication environment at university requires us to always interact with people by working in groups or learning how to speak in front of a crowd. This is a huge advantage if we master these soft skills. Finally, after college education, we have acquired a solid base of knowledge, improved ourselves more, gained more confidence, cultivated many skills and experiences to get a good job. In summary, through the above benefits, we can see that college education is not compulsory, but it is very rewarding and worth participating.
College education is a new experiential environment for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
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different
benefits.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the university
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us create a wide relationship with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around us such as friends, teachers, or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
outside the learning environment. It doesn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us create a working network
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but
also
creates more opportunities to exchange knowledge and learn experiences.
In addition
, another
equally
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important
benefit that university gives us is soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
For example
, the communication environment at university requires us to always interact with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by working in groups or learning how to speak in front of a crowd. This is a huge advantage if we master these soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Finally
, after college education, we have acquired a solid base of knowledge,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
ourselves more, gained more confidence, cultivated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and experiences to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job. In summary, through the above benefits, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that college education is not compulsory,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
rewarding and worth participating.

IELTS essay College education is a new experiential environment for many people with different benefits.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
161 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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