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Classmates are more important than parents in the success of child. Do you agree or disagree.

Some people feel that classmates are more important in child's success than parents however existing friends could also bring some negatives. I believe that parent's influence is greater than everything. It is undeniable that friends have a big influencial role in the success of peers. Firstly they can support each other at any time. For example, when they are in the competition they can encourage and motivate each other. Another fact is that most of the classmates are very helpful. Namely, if a child cannot understand the task friends could help help and support. However, not all friends can be motivational and good. To exemplify if one friend is addicted to drugs, he can inspire others to follow him, which could lead children to astray from their right ways. On the other hand, the majority of people believe that parents have more significant contributions to academic performance of their children. Even they cannot give technical help but they can influence in a moral way. For instance, the child is covered with studies and preparing for an exam in this case parents can inspire and motivate him by words and be interested in the work and be accompanied with him/her to advance. In addition, parents can provide children with essential needs. For example, parents can hire a private tutor if a child faces with difficulties in certain subjects. In conclusion, I assume that classmates do have a good support but I disagree if people think classmates are more important. Parents play a vital role as they can assist morally and financially.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classmates
are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in child's success than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
however
existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
could
also
bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
negatives. I believe that parent's influence is greater than everything. It is undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
Possible spelling mistake found.
influencial
role in the success of peers.
Firstly
they can support each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
at any time.
For example
, when they are in the competition they can encourage and motivate each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. Another fact is that most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classmates
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
helpful.
Namely
, if a child cannot understand the task
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
and support.
However
, not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
can be motivational and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
. To exemplify if one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
is addicted
to drugs, he can inspire others to follow him, which could lead children to astray from their right ways. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, the majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have more significant contributions to academic performance of their children. Even they cannot give technical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they can influence
Consider replacing "in a moral way" with the adverb for "moral"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a moral way
.
For instance
, the child
is covered
with studies and preparing for an exam
in this case
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can inspire and motivate him by words and
be interested
in the work and be
The usual collocation for "accompany" is "by," not "with." It is better to say this: "accompanied by".
accompanied with
him/her to advance.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can provide children with essential needs.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can hire a private tutor if a child faces with difficulties in certain subjects.
In conclusion
, I assume that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classmates
do have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
support
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I disagree if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classmates
are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
play a vital role as they can assist
morally
and
financially
.
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IELTS essay Classmates are more important than parents in the success of child.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
260 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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