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It is true that some people prefer to buy their own apartment rather than renting when they reach a certain age and there could be a variety of reasons for people making this decisions.

It is true that some people prefer to buy their own apartment rather than renting when they reach a certain age and there could be a variety of reasons for people making this decisions. 95xpW
It is true that some people prefer to buy their own apartment rather than renting when they reach a certain age and there could be a variety of reasons for people making this decisions. In my opinion, it is desirable to own a housing property at sompoint of life, but putting this idea as a must-do will put too much pressure on some people. A number of people buy a housing property because of the requirement to specific reason. For example, it is common in some Asian countries, owning a new apartment is considered as a necessity before getting married. Owning a apartment is also a social norm under this circumstances and not obey such socio-cultural rules might bring peer pressure to people. Another possible reason is that people tend to consider buying a housing propety as an investment, and people could make a profit from renting out their own home. On the other hand, it is overwhelming to consider buying a home as something must do. For example, young generations especially have not accumulated enough wealth to buy an apartment, Buying a home could result in too much financial stress on them and might have negative effect on their personal life. Moreover, renting a home is seen as a way of living in some Western countries. Living in a rented home is an individual choice and should be respected. In summary, it is preferable to buy a home when financial capability is fulfilled. However, it would be not necessary to treat it a must case.
It is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
rather
than renting when they reach a certain age and there could be a variety of reasons for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
making this decisions. In my opinion, it is desirable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
a housing property at
Possible spelling mistake found.
sompoint
of life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
putting this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
-do will put too much pressure on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

A number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
a housing property
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the requirement to specific reason.
For example
, it is common in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Asian countries, owning a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
is considered
as a necessity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
getting married. Owning
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
is
also
a social norm under
Did you mean "these"?
this
circumstances and not obey such
Possible spelling mistake found.
socio-cultural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
might bring peer pressure to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Another possible reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to consider buying a housing
Possible spelling mistake found.
propety
as an investment, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a profit from renting out their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
home.

On the other hand
, it is overwhelming to consider buying a home as something
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
do.
For example
, young generations
especially
have not accumulated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
wealth to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
, Buying a home could result in too much financial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
on them and might have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on their personal life.
Moreover
, renting a home is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as a way of living in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Western countries. Living in a rented home is an individual choice and should
be respected
.

In summary, it is preferable to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
a home when financial capability
is fulfilled
.
However
, it would be not necessary to treat it a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
case.
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IELTS essay It is true that some people prefer to buy their own apartment rather than renting when they reach a certain age and there could be a variety of reasons for people making this decisions.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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