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Cinema attendance in some countries is on the decline. What do you think are the causes of this development and what measures could be taken to solve it? v.3

Cinema attendance in some countries is on the decline. What do you think are the causes of this development and what measures could be taken to solve it? v. 3
It is believed that the number of people who watch films in cinema has been declining in the past few years. The following essay will discuss in details about reasons why it is decreasing, and some action plans that could be taken to resolve the issue. For a number of reasons, the number of people who go to the cinema has been declining nowadays. Firstly, it is due to home theatre system become more affordable these days. As many electronic retailers offer various kinds of discounts or instalment programs, a lot of people own home theatre devices nowadays, and they choose to watch films at home. Secondly, it is because pirate films are sold freely in some countries, mostly in third world countries. Illegal retailers offer various kinds of movies, from drama, cartoon, action and even ethnic films and the price of these pirate films is very affordable. As a result, the public would choose to buy these films rather than going to the cinema. However, there are several things that the government and people could do to solve the problem. The government should have strict and proper regulations about selling illegal films. Illegal retailers should be closed and the owner should be punished in accordance with the valid regulation. People who purchase or own illegal films should also be given some detentions as well. As for cinema owners, they should have some innovations or upgrade their cinema buildings. For example, they could convert the existing cinema into a 3D cinema and upgrade the sound system to a newer version, as they would attract more visitors. In conclusion, cinema attendances are declining lately, because more people are owning home theatres system and choose to buy illegal films. To solve the issue, cinema owner should upgrade their theatres and the government should make a proper regulation about pirated films.
It
is believed
that the number of
people
who
watch
films in
cinema
has been declining in the past few years. The following essay will discuss in
details
about reasons why it is decreasing, and
some
action plans that could
be taken
to resolve the issue.

For a number of reasons, the number of
people
who go to the
cinema
has been declining nowadays.
Firstly
, it is due to home
theatre
system become more affordable these days. As
many
electronic retailers offer various kinds of discounts or
instalment
programs,
a lot of
people
own
home
theatre
devices nowadays, and they choose to
watch
films at home.
Secondly
, it is
because
pirate films
are sold
freely
in
some
countries,
mostly
in third world countries.
Illegal
retailers offer various kinds of movies, from drama, cartoon, action and even ethnic films and the price of these pirate films is
very
affordable.
As a result
, the public would choose to
buy
these films
rather
than going to the cinema.

However
, there are several things that the
government
and
people
could do to solve the problem. The
government
should have strict and proper regulations about selling
illegal
films.
Illegal
retailers should
be closed
and the owner should
be punished
in accordance with the valid regulation.
People
who
purchase
or
own
illegal
films should
also
be
given
some
detentions
as well
. As for
cinema
owners, they should have
some
innovations or upgrade their
cinema
buildings.
For example
, they could convert the existing
cinema
into a 3D
cinema
and upgrade the sound system to a newer version, as they would attract more visitors.

In conclusion
,
cinema
attendances are declining lately,
because
more
people
are owning
home
theatres
system and choose to
buy
illegal
films. To solve the issue,
cinema
owner should upgrade their
theatres
and the
government
should
make
a proper regulation about pirated films.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Cinema attendance in some countries is on the decline. What do you think are the causes of this development and what measures could be taken to solve it? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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