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Choose one of these types of technology and write a paragraph about why it is useful. Write the paragraph using the connecting words: firstly, for example, furthermore, in other words, on the other hand, however, as a result. (about 100 words).

Choose one of these types of technology and write a paragraph about why it is useful. Write the paragraph using the connecting words: firstly, for example, furthermore, in other words, on the other hand, however, as a result. (about 100 words). 9a607
Technology makes our life easier and cell phones are one of the best inventions because of the many advantages they offer us. Firstly, in communication, cell phones offer the ability to instantly communicate with friends, family, colleagues, . . . For instance, we can stay in touch with people who live far from us within a blink of an eye. Secondly, the photo and video feature, today people don't even own a camera because their phone has all the picture and video recording capabilities they need. Photos and videos can be sent to other people via email, messaging or Bluetooth, or posted on the Internet with just a few clicks. Lastly, you will never get bored if you have a phone. There are many games to download and play, get involved on social media to relax. Furthermore, you can also watch videos and listen to the radio, podcasts, or music. Today's cell phone manufacturers bring for us plenty of benefits. With such, we can expect more functions in smartphones that will be available in the future.
Technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
our life easier and cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
are one of the best inventions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages they offer us.
Firstly
, in communication, cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
offer the ability to
instantly
communicate with friends, family, colleagues
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
For instance
, we can stay in touch with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
far from us within a blink of an eye.
Secondly
, the photo and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
feature,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
don't even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
a camera
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
has all the picture and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
recording capabilities they need. Photos and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
via email, messaging or Bluetooth, or posted on the Internet with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a few clicks.
Lastly
, you will never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
bored if you have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
games to download and play,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved on social media to relax.
Furthermore
, you can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
and listen to the radio, podcasts, or music.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
's cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
manufacturers bring for us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of benefits. With such, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
more functions in smartphones that will be available in the future.
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IELTS essay Choose one of these types of technology and write a paragraph about why it is useful. Write the paragraph using the connecting words: firstly, for example, furthermore, in other words, on the other hand, however, as a result. (about 100 words).

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
176 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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