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the media tends to focus on problems rather than positive development

the media tends to focus on problems rather than positive development pXa70
In recents day, the news media is often covered with problems and suffering more than effective improvement. Although I agree with the idea that this trend could lead to adversely impacts to individuals and society, I believe that its benefits should be mentioned. On the one hand, people can not refuse the practical influence the media has on us. First, we should admit that the news on emergencies can save live and reduce damage especially when natural disasters. The media oftens report the most emergent news on storms, earthquakes, tsunami, . . . For example, the state of emergency often is declared via the media to concerned audiences. Because of that, people being in danger can take care of themself or take related action to stay safe during disasters. Second, news reports on criminals and punishment can also play an important role in educating viewers about justice, how to determine a criminals and how to protect themself from crimes. On the other hand, I believe that when the media is filled with social issues or a scandals of a celebrity, it sometime do more harm than good. Just take an example, the first news you read on the morning is a scandals about someone and you can not firgue out what you want to read, that newsletters overwhelmed and affected your entire day. Moreover, the details description of crimes could make many people living in fear and panic of danger or crime. This starts from the media exaggerated the real threats for the purpose to increasing audience’s rate and generating higher profits. In conclusion, media reports on problems and emergencies can be informative for people who are concerned, but the drawbacks are also a significant concern.
In
Possible spelling mistake found.
recents
day, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
covered with problems and suffering more than effective improvement. Although I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that this trend could lead to
adversely
impacts to individuals and society, I believe that its benefits should
be mentioned
.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can not refuse the practical influence the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has on us.
First
, we should admit that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
on emergencies can save
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
damage
especially
when natural disasters. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
Possible spelling mistake found.
oftens
report the most emergent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
on storms, earthquakes, tsunami
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
For example
, the state of emergency
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
is declared
via the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
to concerned audiences.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
being in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
can take care of
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
themself
or take related action to stay safe during disasters. Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
reports on criminals and punishment can
also
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in educating viewers about justice, how to determine a criminals and how to protect
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
themself
from crimes.

On the other hand
, I believe that when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You should probably use: "are".
is
filled with social issues or
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a scandal" or simply "scandals"?
a scandals
of a celebrity, it sometime
Did you mean "does"?
do
more harm than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
take an example, the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
you read on the morning is
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a scandal" or simply "scandals"?
a scandals
about someone and you can not
Possible spelling mistake found.
firgue
out what you want to read, that newsletters overwhelmed and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
your entire day.
Moreover
, the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "details'" or "detail's"?
details
description of crimes could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in fear and panic of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
or crime. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
exaggerated the real threats for the purpose to increasing audience’s rate and generating higher profits.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
reports on problems and emergencies can be informative for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
are concerned
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the drawbacks are
also
a significant concern.
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IELTS essay the media tends to focus on problems rather than positive development

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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