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“ Children’s achievement is highly influenced by parents’ education and income “ Do you agree with this statement? Write an essay of about 250 words to express your opinion and support your answer with relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

“ Children’s achievement is highly influenced by parents’ education and income “ Write an essay of about 250 words to express your opinion and support your answer with relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. WmnOa
Some people claim that adolescents’ accomplishment highly relies on their parents’ discipline and salary. I disagree with this statement. I believe that other elements are also equally important and justifications are as follows. On the one hand, there is a wide array of reason account for the magnitude of children’parents’ education and income. Firstly, parents’ education strongly affect children’s process to achieve their goals. For example, parents are children’s encouragement and motivation, moreover if children have educated parents, they will try to gain goals and don’t want to make their parents disapointed and dishonorable. Secondly, parents’ income have an impact on adolescents’ achievement. High salary allow childrens to live, grow with better things. They have more opportunity to experience, study in their own fields. For example, parents have high income can make their children nerveless about the amount of money spent on studying. In addition, children have more equipment and better environment such as international global schools, studying abroad. Therefore, children can achieve their goals less hard than other kids in poverty On the other hand, other elements are also equally important. Other elements comprise IQ, children’s ambition, laboriousness and adolescent’s personality. parents have education and high income but their children don’t have IQ, ambition, laboriousness they can’t achieve goals. For example, they have chance to be taught by a professional teacher, on contrary they don’t have interest in study and operoseness. they can’t receive anything and only waste time. To conclude, not only parents’ education and income but also other elements are equally important.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that adolescents’ accomplishment
highly
relies on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
discipline and salary. I disagree with this statement. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elements
are
also
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and justifications are as follows.

On the one hand, there is a wide array of reason account for the magnitude of children’parents’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
strongly
affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
process to achieve their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goals
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
encouragement and motivation,
moreover
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, they will try to gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goals
and don’t want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
Possible spelling mistake found.
disapointed
and dishonorable.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
have an impact on adolescents’ achievement. High salary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
, grow with better things. They have more opportunity to experience, study in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
fields.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
nerveless about the amount of money spent on studying.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have more equipment and better environment such as international global schools, studying abroad.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can achieve their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goals
less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
kids in poverty

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elements
are
also
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elements
comprise IQ,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
ambition, laboriousness and adolescent’s personality.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
parents
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
don’t have IQ, ambition, laboriousness they can’t achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goals
.
For example
, they have chance to
be taught
by a professional teacher, on contrary they don’t have interest in study and
Possible spelling mistake found.
operoseness
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
can’t receive anything and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
waste time.

To conclude
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elements
are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
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IELTS essay “ Children’s achievement is highly influenced by parents’ education and income “ Write an essay of about 250 words to express your opinion and support your answer with relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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