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The government subside will improve people's lives

The government subside will improve people's lives mW3lK
Financial help which government give people to increase their social welfare. However, There are two types of subsides, called export subside and domestic subside. In fact, the subside cost is deposited to the head of household. In addition, people who have high income are forbidden to receive subside. The subside amount is 45. 500 Tomans in my country and its advantage is to protect the society from poor stratum. Therefore, it increases social welfare. The subside policy performed in 1380. On the other hand, one of the disadvantages of subside is that it costs are high but the amount of it is low and also it causes inflation and the result will be more problems in economics. As a result, the government has to find the most suitable solution to solve this economical problem. One of the solutions may be increasing the subside amount until people’s financial problems reduce and to have a happier life, also their life expectancy increases.
Financial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
give
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to increase their social welfare.
However
, There are two types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subsides
, called export
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subside
and domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subside
. In fact, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subside
cost
is deposited
to the head of household.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who have high income
are forbidden
to receive subside.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subside
amount is 45. 500
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tomans
in my country and its advantage is to protect the society from poor stratum.
Therefore
, it increases social welfare. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subside
policy performed in 1380.

On the other hand
, one of the disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subside
is that it costs are high
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the amount of it is low and
also
it causes inflation and the result will be more problems in economics.

As a result
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
find the most suitable solution to solve this economical problem. One of the solutions may be increasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subside
amount until
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s financial problems
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
and to have a happier life,
also
their life expectancy increases.
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IELTS essay The government subside will improve people's lives

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
160 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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