Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Children who complete their schooling should be allowed to travel to another country before starting their University studies. How far do you agree with this

Children who complete their schooling should be allowed to travel to another country before starting their University studies. How far do you agree with this Kl659
Education is a most important thing in life. It should be done in world best universities. In recent years most students are looking forward to join in a foreign University, to get a better education. Firstly, while choosing a foreign university, the student should be need to adapt to the new culture. By travelling before join an university, he can explore the nations in his wishlist and can learn about their food, dressing and culture etc. It helps him in a better way to choose a suitable country according to which, he can easily adopt. So it helps him in different ways to live and enjoy his life in that region. Moreover, he can also explore the career opportunity and wide range of courses for his education. So he can choose subjects for his education, suitable for him. Secondly, while transporting to other country, he will be able to get a real life lesson about the usage of money. It makes him aware of spending unnecessary cash. Also be will be pass through very difficult situation. It makes him more confident. He will be able to learn, to live in very difficult situations. It makes him, to know the value of food and shelter. This will only help him to walk through worst scenarios easily. Hence he will become more self-dependent on a younger age. And thus make him succeed in his future life. To conclude, I belive, education has a most important role in our life. By travelling to different nations, students have variety of benefits, in their vacation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
is a most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. It should
be done
in world best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
. In recent years most students are looking forward to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
in a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Firstly
, while choosing a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
, the student should
be need
to adapt to the new culture. By travelling
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
, he can explore the nations in his wishlist and can learn about their food, dressing and culture etc. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
him in a better way to choose a suitable country according to which, he can
easily
adopt.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
him in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and enjoy his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in that region.
Moreover
, he can
also
explore the career opportunity and wide range of courses for his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
he can choose subjects for his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, suitable for him.
Secondly
, while transporting to other country, he will be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
lesson about the usage of money. It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
him aware of spending unnecessary cash.
Also
be will be pass through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult situation. It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
him more confident. He will be able to learn, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult situations. It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
him, to know the value of food and shelter. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
him to walk through worst scenarios
easily
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
he will become more self-dependent on a younger age. And
thus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
him succeed in his future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
To conclude
,
Did you mean "I believe"?
I belive
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
has a most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. By travelling to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nations, students have variety of benefits, in their vacation.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Children who complete their schooling should be allowed to travel to another country before starting their University studies. How far do you agree with this

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
260 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Children who complete their schooling should be allowed to travel to another country before starting their University studies. How far do you agree with this