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Children under 15 years old are acceptable to be allowed to use mobile phones.

Children under 15 years old are acceptable to be allowed to use mobile phones. 2Rqxj
In the current world, mobile phones are essential for everyone’s life. Parents might think about when to give their child a cell phone. Looking up through plenty of research, but most of them are outdated as we are living in a world of technology now. We cannot deny that it is almost the number five of human’s four requisites. However, it needs to have a minimum age. A mobile phone or tablet harms the baby, which is under three years old. Therefore, I believe that it should be allowed for under 15 years old, but not below 12. According to Pew Research Center, 12-13 is the most appropriate time since it is the time that they gain the judgment. Mobile phones are beneficial to all people at every age. The first advantage is the connection. As a teenager, it is crucial to engage with society, and mobile phones are helpful for that. Instagram, Facebook, Line, and Twitter are applications on cell phones that help them connect and find more friends. Moreover, in some families, a member is overseas or has a divorced parent. They can always get in touch from across the city or even across the world by calling, texting, or facetiming. Secondly, the mobile phone is an essential gadget for education. In the role of student, we can gain more knowledge from the internet. A student who gets good grades takes the extra expertise and clears any doubt from there. As if we have a whole library in our pocket. We can also explore the world and gain more outside of the classroom lesson. For instance, Rich Brian, an Indonesian rapper, learned English by himself from zero and became a famous rapper. It is not only about gaining more knowledge, but it also helps students organize their messy schedule and lives by planning and using alarms to remind them of things. These could make studying more effective. Thirdly, with the help of smartphones, parents can get an extra sense of security and safety for their children. It lets parents stay in touch with them at almost all times. It is easier to contact anyone when they need something, such as calling a parent to take them on a ride or when they have a problem in school. In the case of an emergency, they can call the police or hospital immediately, so that smartphones can be the only lifeline for your kids. Additionally, a phone with GPS tracking can help a parent know where their teen is at all times. In conclusion, I insist on my opinion that children under the age of 15 should be permitted to use a cellphone, but no children under the age of 12. 13 years old is the age when a kid becomes an adolescent. It is essential for them to own a smartphone, and getting one is a step towards independence, but it would be better if you considered putting some limits in place and making the commitments. Judy Arnell, a writer of "Parenting with Patience, " suggested that parents should have a non-punishment and respectful agreement with their kids for advantages and safe phone use. All in all, the mobile phone is not only a valuable tool for connecting with other people but also for education and children’s safety.
In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
are essential for everyone’s life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about when to give their child a cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
. Looking up through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of research,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
most of them
are outdated
as we are living in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
of technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. We cannot deny that it is almost the number five of human’s four requisites.
However
, it needs to have a minimum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. A mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
or tablet harms the baby, which is under three years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.
Therefore
, I believe that it should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
for under 15 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not below 12. According to Pew Research Center, 12-13 is the most appropriate time since it is the time that they gain the judgment.

Mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
are beneficial to all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
at every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. The
first
advantage is the connection. As a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
, it is crucial to engage with society, and mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
are helpful for that. Instagram, Facebook, Line, and Twitter are applications on cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them connect and find more friends.
Moreover
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
families, a member is overseas or has a divorced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
. They can always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in touch from across the city or even across the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
by calling, texting, or
Possible spelling mistake found.
facetiming
.

Secondly
, the mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
is an essential gadget for education. In the role of student, we can gain more knowledge from the internet. A student who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
grades takes the extra expertise and clears any doubt from there.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
if we have a whole library in our pocket. We can
also
explore the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
and gain more
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".
outside of
the classroom lesson.
For instance
, Rich Brian, an Indonesian rapper, learned English by himself from zero and became a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
rapper. It is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about gaining more knowledge,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
students organize their messy schedule and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
by planning and using alarms to remind them of things. These could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
studying more effective.

Thirdly
, with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of smartphones,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an extra sense of security and safety for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lets
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
stay in touch with them at almost all times. It is easier to contact anyone when they need something, such as calling a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
to take them on a ride or when they have a problem in school. In the case of an emergency, they can call the police or hospital immediately,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that smartphones can be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
lifeline for your kids.
Additionally
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
with GPS tracking can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
know where their teen is at all times.

In conclusion
, I insist on my opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
under the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 15 should
be permitted
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a cellphone,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
under the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 12. 13 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
when a kid becomes an adolescent. It is essential for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
a smartphone, and getting one is a step towards independence,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it would be better if you considered putting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
limits in place and making the commitments. Judy
Possible spelling mistake found.
Arnell
, a writer of
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Parenting with Patience,
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
"
suggested that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should have a non-punishment and respectful agreement with their kids for advantages and safe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. All in all, the mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a valuable tool for connecting with other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for education and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
safety.
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IELTS essay Children under 15 years old are acceptable to be allowed to use mobile phones.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
549 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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