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Some working parents believe childcare can provide best care for their children, others believe that family members like grandparents can do a better job. Discuss both sides and give your opinion?

Some working parents believe childcare can provide best care for their children, others believe that family members like grandparents can do a better job. BwxQd
Children problems such as who should take care of children have become the focus of public concerns and some methods can be utilized to solve these problems. Some working parents believe that it is benifical for children to be sent to childcare centers, while others argue that family members such as grandparents can do better. This essay discusses both side of the argument and then I will give my own perspective, which is that I support that childcare centers can provide children with best care. There two main reasons why some parents argue that family members can do a better job in this situation. It is true that grandparents can give adequate supplies of material basics due to the fact that there is a direct blood link between grandparents and children. In addition, caring children by grandparents and not only make parents more convenient but also reduce partially funds on children lives of parents’ money. However, what they are ignoring is that the dotage from grandparents always poses a threat of children’s development. In spite of these arguements, I support the view that children centers can bring people more benefits. The children centers’ staffs are more likely to have proper technical knowledge of raring kids which can boost children development. For example, when participating in some activities, in childcare centers, children can improve their communication skills. Furthermore, children can also increase their social skills and make more friends. In conclusion, although children who are cared by grandparents can have enough materials supplies, I believe that childcare centers could provide children with opportunities to have a better development.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
problems such as who should take care of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have become the focus of public concerns and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
methods can
be utilized
to solve these problems.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
believe that it is
Possible spelling mistake found.
benifical
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to childcare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centers
, while others argue that family members such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
can do better. This essay discusses both side of the argument and then I will give my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perspective, which is that I support that childcare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centers
can provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with best care.

There two main reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
argue that family members can do a better job in this situation. It is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
can give adequate supplies of material basics due to the fact that there is a direct blood link between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
In addition
, caring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
and not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
more convenient
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
partially
funds on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
money.
However
, what they are ignoring is that the dotage from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
always poses a threat of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
development.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
these
Possible spelling mistake found.
arguements
, I support the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centers
can bring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
more benefits. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You should probably use "center".
centers
’ staffs are more likely to have proper technical knowledge of raring kids which can boost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
development.
For example
, when participating in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
activities, in childcare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centers
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
also
increase their social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more friends.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
are cared
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
materials supplies, I believe that childcare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centers
could provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with opportunities to have a better development.
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IELTS essay Some working parents believe childcare can provide best care for their children, others believe that family members like grandparents can do a better job.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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