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Children should play online games nowadays. Discuss advantages and disadvantages.

Children should play online games nowadays. Discuss advantages and disadvantages. XGqlE
Multiplayer games nowadays have become very popular especially to the youth of today's generation. This essay will discuss the positive sides of online gaming as well as negative aspect of games based on online system. On the one hand, thousants of online games are now wide spread at the circles of the World Wide Web which allows players to play in similar game setting at the same time. Video games allow players to build their own networks of alliance which promotes interaction between the individuals since they need to support each other in order to win the game, also, this will help players to build teamwork. Therefore, if children stops playing multiplayer game and remove them completely from their circle of entertainment, it will impede children's pursuit of interest and enthusiasm and consequently they will be reluctant to study. Moreover, very many games are installed in several levels or missions by the company so that this can helps the kids in learning about management in a way that online gaming makes the kid sharper and mentally more active. On the other hand, online games also have the same missing effects which directly affect the development of kids. Since they are playing with multiple other players, they cannot just stop from playing because this will affect the network and this will require children to play in long hours. This means that due to the long hours of playing numerous health problems may be acquired such as eye or corpal tunnel syndrome, poor postures and severe stress on nerves. Furthermore, this breaks their connection with the enviroment which can not only diminish their natural social connections, but also leave them more depressed and passive, even vulgar. In conclusion, although video games allow children to improve their social interaction capacity, it is still important for every kids to spend whole their time on other activities in a health way.
Multiplayer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
nowadays have become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular
especially
to the youth of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's generation. This essay will discuss the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
sides of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
gaming
as well
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
based on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
system.

On the one hand,
Possible spelling mistake found.
thousants
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
wide spread at the circles of the World Wide Web which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
to play in similar game setting at the same time. Video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
to build their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
networks of alliance which promotes interaction between the individuals since they need to support each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
in order to win the game,
also
, this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
to build teamwork.
Therefore
, if children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stops
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
multiplayer game and remove them completely from their circle of entertainment, it will impede children's pursuit of interest and enthusiasm and
consequently
they will be reluctant to study.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are installed
in several levels or missions by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that this can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "help"
helps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
in learning about management in a way that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
gaming
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
sharper and mentally more active.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
also
have the same missing effects which
directly
affect the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
. Since they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
with multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
, they cannot
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this will affect the network and this will require children to play in long hours. This means that due to the long hours of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
numerous health problems may
be acquired
such as eye or
Possible spelling mistake found.
corpal
tunnel syndrome, poor postures and severe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
on nerves.
Furthermore
, this breaks their connection with the
Possible spelling mistake found.
enviroment
which can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
diminish their natural social connections,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
them more depressed and passive, even vulgar.

In conclusion
, although video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
children to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their social interaction capacity, it is
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "kid"?
kids
to spend whole their time on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
activities in a health way.
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IELTS essay Children should play online games nowadays. Discuss advantages and disadvantages.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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