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Children should follow their parents advise

Children should follow their parents advise XVnOO
These days, there is an ongoing debate between people about offspring should obey their parents suggestion. Other claims that should make a decision independently. In this essay, I shall explain my point of view by analyzing both of the argument. To commence with, Many children consider that parental advice is impprtant to choose a job, study or get married. Parents always struggle tiobring up Also they not only help children to grow up but also they support children with convinient facilities to live. Hence, parents but also educate high knowledge, but also they suppor their with convenient facilities to live. Hence parents never bad afvisce fpr cjildren to makae a wrong decision. For ecample young adults nees to learn how to separate positive and negative things ofvthe life. On the other hand, Some parents do not understand children dream that tobe famous, study abroad and others according to their talents and ability. Furthermore, Many parents suggest their children folloe in their footsteps. In this case if children may accept parents advice they cannot find a job satisfaction. Also they may be left their job or they feel boredom tired and frustraredin their proffesion. In my conclusion, while there are strong arguments on both sides of the case, my personal opinion is that children should make a right choice with parental
These days, there is an ongoing debate between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
about offspring should obey their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
suggestion. Other claims that should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a decision
independently
. In this essay, I shall
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my point of view by analyzing both of the argument.

To commence with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
consider that parental advice is
Possible spelling mistake found.
impprtant
to choose a job, study or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
always struggle
Possible spelling mistake found.
tiobring
up
Also
they not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to grow up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with
Possible spelling mistake found.
convinient
facilities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
educate high knowledge,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they
Possible spelling mistake found.
suppor their
with convenient facilities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
Possible spelling mistake found.
afvisce
Possible spelling mistake found.
fpr
Possible spelling mistake found.
cjildren
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
makae
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
decision. For
Possible spelling mistake found.
ecample
young adults
Possible spelling mistake found.
nees
to learn how to separate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
things
Possible spelling mistake found.
ofvthe
life.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do not understand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
dream that
Possible spelling mistake found.
tobe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
, study abroad
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
according to their talents and ability.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
suggest their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
Possible spelling mistake found.
folloe
in their footsteps.
In this case
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may accept
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
advice they cannot find a job satisfaction.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
they may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
their
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
job or
they feel boredom tired and
Possible spelling mistake found.
frustraredin
their
Possible spelling mistake found.
proffesion
.

In my conclusion, while there are strong arguments on both sides of the case, my personal opinion is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a right choice with parental

IELTS essay Children should follow their parents advise

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
219 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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