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children should always follow their parents'advice. to what extend do you agree? v.2

children should always follow their parents'advice. v. 2
According to some people the proper way for children to grow up as a highly-esteemed and successful person is parents' advices. To a certain extent I agree that, advices from experienced people are always useful for a new generation, however, I also believe that in some occasion advices can misdirect children. On the one hand, it is obvious that parents have greater knowledge and awareness about the life, due to that their directives could the best assistants of the children who encountered a challenge for the first time. Obeying to the parents' advices leads the adolescents to the achievements and success. Moreover, owing to the insufficient information, children might not make the appropriate decision in the right time and this will lead to undesirable consequences. On the other hand, in recent years, juveniles are more diligent and smarter than the earlier generations and some of them are highly determined and is able to identify themselves for what would be suitable and beneficial. In my opinion, children who have the features aforementioned above might lead to wrong direction by implying the advices which gave by their parents. For example, in my country some parents instill becoming a lawyer or a doctor to their sons or daughters despite some of them have a potential as well as unique skills to become a well-known football player or a popular artist from whom people inspire. To put it another way, parents should not impose the directives to the children and complying to the advices is not an obligation for young generation. In conclusion, I agree that in special circumstances, parents advices could be life-saving, but it should be interpreted as an imperative.
According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
the proper way for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to grow up as a
highly
-esteemed and successful person is parents'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advices
. To a certain extent I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advices
from experienced
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are always useful for a new generation,
however
, I
also
believe that in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
occasion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advices
can misdirect children.

On the one hand, it is obvious that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have greater knowledge and awareness about the life, due to that their directives could the best assistants of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who encountered a challenge for the
first
time. Obeying to the parents'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advices
leads the adolescents to the achievements and success.
Moreover
, owing to the insufficient information,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
might not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the appropriate decision in the right time and this will lead to undesirable consequences.

On the other hand
, in recent years, juveniles are more diligent and smarter than the earlier generations and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them are
highly
determined and is able to identify themselves for what would be suitable and beneficial. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who have the features aforementioned above might lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
direction by implying the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advices
which gave by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
For example
, in my country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
instill becoming a lawyer or a doctor to their sons or daughters despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them have a potential
as well
as unique
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to become a well-known football player or a popular artist from whom
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
inspire. To put it another way,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should not impose the directives to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and complying to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advices
is not an obligation for young generation.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that in special circumstances,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advices
could be life-saving,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it should
be interpreted
as an imperative.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay children should always follow their parents'advice. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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