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Children should always follow their parents advice. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

children should always follow their parents'advice. v. 1
These days, some parents spend their time for their works however they allocate more time for children this could be because they know that family upbringing always stay in the first stage in cildren life it is a main substructure. I completely agree with this that children absolutely should follow their parents advice. Over the last few decades, children deeply desire to be independent. They long to do what they want. Just it is right or wrong they dont think about this. They imagine that nothing will happen if i do it. That is why we need parents, their life practices as well. If you fell they help you for standing again and they hold you by hand this must not happen again. There is no one in the world who loves, cares and always thinks of children as parents. The fact of the matter is that now a days in majority of families children are more and more unamenable as well as they don't want to obey their parents. At the end i supposed that when children grew up they will have much more problems with themselves. At that time they remember parents helpful suggestions but then it will be too late. Further nobody could take care of him as parents. In conclusion, I believe that children are likely to have more problems if they do not follow their parents' advice. So we have chance to more listen our parents suggestions and use these in our future life.
These days,
some
parents
spend their time for their works
however
they allocate more time for
children
this could be
because
they know that family upbringing always stay in the
first
stage in
cildren
life it is a main substructure. I completely
agree
with this that
children
absolutely
should follow their
parents
advice.

Over the last few decades,
children
deeply
desire to be independent. They long to do what they want.
Just
it is right or
wrong
they
dont
think
about this. They imagine that nothing will happen if
i
do it.
That is
why we need
parents
, their life practices
as well
. If you fell they
help
you for standing
again and
they hold you by hand this
must
not happen again. There is no one in the world who
loves
, cares and always
thinks
of
children
as parents.

The fact of the matter is that
now a days
in majority of families
children
are more and more
unamenable
as well
as they don't want to obey their
parents
. At the
end
i
supposed that when
children
grew up they will have much more problems with themselves. At that time they remember
parents
helpful suggestions
but
then it will be too late.
Further
nobody could take care of him as parents.

In conclusion
, I believe that
children
are likely to have more problems if they do not follow their parents' advice.
So
we have chance to more listen our
parents
suggestions and
use
these in our future life.
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IELTS essay Children should always follow their parents advice. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
249 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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