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Last year PrepUp had record enrollment in their test prep courses, but yearly profits fell by nearly 30 percent. To the contrary, TopPreparation had comparable enrollment to the year be fore, with profits rising by approximately 20 percent. This discrepan

Last year PrepUp had record enrollment in their test prep courses, but yearly profits fell by nearly 30 percent. To the contrary, TopPreparation had comparable enrollment to the year be fore, with profits rising by approximately 20 percent. This discrepan 15m7M
In this argument, the author claims that PrepUP will propose online test prep course in the following year with the hope of profit. To bolster his standing, the author cites some pieces of evidence. Although the argument seems logical at a first glance, it has been flawed with some unwarranted assumptions that need to be justified. Firstly, the argument based on the reference that the yearly profit of PrepUp(PU) has been curtailed by nearly 30 percent last year while the profit of TopPreparation (TP) has been augmented by approximately 20 percent in the previous year. However, the author did not mention any number of enrolled persons; Thus, how could the arguer compare between those percents with the ignorance of the number of individuals who enrolled PU, as well as TP, is same or not. It seems that there remains an urge of knowing the answers; In the absence of these, the argument still remains skeptical. Secondly, the author explains about the teaching method of both PU and TP; It tells that PU costs much higher than TP due to the following reasons: Offline live classes, costly house rent, teaching pieces of equipment such as white-board, laptops, projector, giant screen and so on. On the other hand, the overhead cost of TP seems lower because it executes online classes. But, the argument flawed with the proof that the salary of the teachers, who gave online lectures may be greater than the teachers of PU. Thirdly, it tells that the online enrollment of TP has been increased by 50 percent whether the total enrollment was constant; However, this information hardly adequate for considering the argument as a fact until it discloses its initial value. For example, it can happen that initially, the total enrollment was 500; The persons, who took live classes, numbers 400 on the contrary, online attendants are 100. So, the rise of 50 percent online enrollment could not assure that the majority are running towards TP. To recapitulate, the number of unsupported assumptions, in the previous sections, questions about the validity of the argument. Unless these are properly addressed with citing some veritable proof, the argument will still be fallacious.
In this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
claims that
Possible spelling mistake found.
PrepUP
will propose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
prep course in the following year with the hope of profit. To bolster his standing, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
cites
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pieces of evidence. Although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
seems logical at a
first
glance, it has
been flawed
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unwarranted assumptions that need to
be justified
.

Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
based on the reference that the yearly profit of
Possible spelling mistake found.
PrepUp
(PU) has
been curtailed
by
nearly
30
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
last year while the profit of
Possible spelling mistake found.
TopPreparation
(TP) has
been augmented
by approximately 20
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in the previous year.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
did not mention any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of enrolled persons;
Thus
, how could the arguer compare between those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percents
with the ignorance of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of individuals who enrolled PU,
as well
as TP, is same or not. It seems that there remains an urge of knowing the answers; In the absence of these, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
still
remains skeptical.

Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
about the teaching method of both PU and TP; It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tells
that PU costs much higher than TP due to the following reasons: Offline
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
classes, costly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
rent, teaching pieces of equipment such as white-board, laptops, projector, giant screen and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
On the other hand
, the overhead cost of TP seems lower
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it executes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
classes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
flawed with the proof that the salary of the teachers, who gave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
lectures may be greater than the teachers of PU.

Thirdly
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tells
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enrollment
of TP has
been increased
by 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
whether the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enrollment
was constant;
However
, this information hardly adequate for considering the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
as a fact until it discloses its initial value.
For example
, it can happen that
initially
, the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enrollment
was 500; The persons, who took
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
classes,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
400
on the contrary
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
attendants are 100.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the rise of 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enrollment
could not assure that the majority are running towards TP.

To recapitulate, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of unsupported assumptions, in the previous sections, questions about the validity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
. Unless these are
properly
addressed with citing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
veritable proof, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
will
still
be fallacious.
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IELTS essay Last year PrepUp had record enrollment in their test prep courses, but yearly profits fell by nearly 30 percent. To the contrary, TopPreparation had comparable enrollment to the year be fore, with profits rising by approximately 20 percent. This discrepan

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
361 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Last year PrepUp had record enrollment in their test prep courses, but yearly profits fell by nearly 30 percent. To the contrary, TopPreparation had comparable enrollment to the year be fore, with profits rising by approximately 20 percent. This discrepan