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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Children over the age of 15 should be allowed to vote. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

Children over the age of 15 should be allowed to vote. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer mWDwA
People almost always desire to have a democratic society with voting, even though there have been different views of affording children over fifteen for this critical issue. Obviously, in democracy system, each individual has the right to choose and vote. A question that is a controversial one is whether children between 15-18 years old are eligible or immature enough to allow to vote. Even though it is a little hard to reach a consensus on this issue, I am a great extent in the belief that it would be worse if fifteen-year-old children are allowed to vote. The following reasons would signify the thesis. First of all, Fifteen teenagers lack the emotional maturity needed to make a wise decision through voting. They are not very old; these children might decide based on their daily sense and fizzle out the next when their decisions are critical for society. However, they do not have enough knowledge to distinguish between actual values or merely daily excitement. Therefore, some politicians may take advantage of their lack of sufficient wisdom and instill their goals in adolescents with a touch of democracy. The teenagers’ decisions based on their emotions and immature enough might change society to a worse situation. Secondly, adolescents often copy their parents’ preferences easily. It will make some mistakes if they cannot have a decision by own mind or knowledge. For example, voters are often affected by many influences subjects such as economic values or social aid programs during the voting elections. On the other hand, teenagers are now aware of these valuable objects. They desire to have a peaceful life with satisfied parents. Politicians have realized that an individual family follows the same path for their votes; thus, they can easily influence families by offering better financial or decreasing the tax issue. This kind of vote is not an honest one based on parents’ preferences. From what has been discussed above, we may conclude that children between 15-18 years old are not immature enough to vote to make a wise decision. Their daily emotions and senses might influence their decisions. Additionally, they are quickly following their parents’ preferences because of a lack of sufficient wisdom. As a result of their invalid voting, society may have a worse future.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
almost always desire to have a democratic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
voting
,
even though
there have been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views of affording
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
over fifteen for this critical issue.
Obviously
, in democracy system, each individual has the right to choose and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vote
. A question
that is
a controversial one is whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
between 15-18 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
are eligible or immature
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enough
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vote
.
Even though
it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to reach a consensus on this issue, I am a great extent in the belief that it would be worse if fifteen-year-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vote
. The following reasons would signify the thesis.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, Fifteen
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
lack the emotional maturity needed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a wise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
voting
. They are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
; these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
might decide based on their daily sense and fizzle out the
next
when their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
are critical for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
However
, they do not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enough
knowledge to distinguish between actual values or
merely
daily excitement.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
politicians may take advantage of their lack of sufficient wisdom and instill their goals in adolescents with a touch of democracy. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
based on their emotions and immature
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enough
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
to a worse situation.

Secondly
, adolescents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
copy their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
preferences
easily
. It will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
mistakes if they cannot have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
mind or knowledge.
For example
, voters are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
influences subjects such as economic values or social aid programs during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
voting
elections.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
aware of these valuable objects. They desire to have a peaceful life with satisfied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. Politicians have realized that an individual family follows the same path for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
votes
;
thus
, they can
easily
influence families by offering better financial or decreasing the tax issue. This kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vote
is not an honest one based on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
preferences.

From what has
been discussed
above, we may conclude that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
between 15-18 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
are not immature
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enough
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vote
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a wise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
. Their daily emotions and senses might influence their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
.
Additionally
, they are
quickly
following their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
preferences
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of a lack of sufficient wisdom.
As a result
of their invalid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
voting
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
may have a worse future.
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IELTS essay Children over the age of 15 should be allowed to vote. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
376 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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