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Children nowadays tend to watch bloody sports. What are the effects? What can be done to solve the problem?

Children nowadays tend to watch bloody sports. What are the effects? What can be done to solve the problem? KVn1k
It is true that young people tend to watch bloodstained or aggressive sports which most of them have limited the age’s viewers in this day and age. This problem gives rise to some consequences but it can be solved with some practicable methods. Blood-spattered and vicious sports have made some quiet impacts on young people. The first issue for children whose behavior tends to be violent. In sport, the character of some initiation activities has been found to encourage promiscuity and a tendency to physical violence among male athletes. Sport cultures that undertake hazing are marked by a tolerance of exclusion, misconduct. Furthermore, they think that bloodstained or brutal sport is cool which shows their physical strength. From that, it creates their admirers or fans, which helps them draw others' attention and admiration. For example, according to some statistics about school’s bullying, with more and more youngsters used to watching violent sports these days, the percentage of bullying in school has been increasing sharply. This issue has led to some consequences that have affected their conduct in school and created their bad notoriety. Furthermore, bloody and aggressive sports can transmit wrong messages about successes or victories at all costs to children whose minds can easily accept new things no matter if it is wrong or right. In most cases, players engage in physical violence or commit fouls against the other teams as a strategy to defeat rival teams that can be a bad example for children. For instance, to have high academic achievements, children who are highly competitive can have bad behaviours while they do not care about other virtues. Thence, unhealthy competitions among the young can appear when they neglect morality to attain their victory. There are various measures that can be taken by the government and some organizations to redress the situation. To begin with, the government should impose stricter censorship on the content of violent sports to ensure that those violent elements are kept at an acceptable level. Moreover, the government should put an age limit on violent sports to keep children away from getting over-exposed to these programs, which reduces the ability of them to adopt these behaviors. Besides, they can run some campaigns to keep the children from watching violent sports via TV programmes. Another solution could be for school organizations or clubs to show the effects of watching bloody sports. If this method is widely applied, it will gradually strengthen the protection of children from bad bloody sports’s behaviours. In conclusion, watching bloodstained or aggressive sports have some negative effects on children’s behaviour, and some feasible measures like programmes aimed at violence prevention and promotion of child protection within sport should be continuously monitored and evaluated to determine their impact and make improvements or adjustments to solve this popular problem.
It is true that young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
bloodstained or aggressive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
which most of them have limited the age’s viewers in this day and age. This problem gives rise to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
consequences
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it can
be solved
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
practicable methods.

Blood-spattered and vicious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
have made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
quiet impacts on young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. The
first
issue for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
whose behavior tends to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
, the character of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
initiation activities has
been found
to encourage promiscuity and a tendency to physical violence among male athletes.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sport
cultures that undertake hazing
are marked
by a tolerance of exclusion, misconduct.
Furthermore
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that bloodstained or brutal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is cool which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
their physical strength. From that, it creates their admirers or fans, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them draw others' attention and admiration.
For example
, according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
statistics about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school’s
bullying, with more and more youngsters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
these days, the percentage of bullying in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
has been increasing
sharply
. This issue has led to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
consequences that have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
their conduct in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and created their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
notoriety.

Furthermore
, bloody and aggressive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
can transmit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
messages about successes or victories at all costs to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
whose minds can
easily
accept new things no matter if it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
or right.
In most cases
, players engage in physical violence or commit fouls against the other teams as a strategy to defeat rival teams that can be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
example for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
For instance
, to have high academic achievements,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who are
highly
competitive can have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
while they do not care about other virtues. Thence, unhealthy competitions among the young can appear when they neglect morality to attain their victory.

There are various measures that can
be taken
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
organizations to redress the situation. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should impose stricter censorship on the content of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
to ensure that those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
elements are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
at an acceptable level.
Moreover
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should put an age limit on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
away from getting over-exposed to these programs, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the ability of them to adopt these behaviors.

Besides
, they can run
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
campaigns to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
via TV
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
. Another solution could be for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
organizations or clubs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the effects of watching bloody
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. If this method is
widely
applied, it will
gradually
strengthen the protection of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
bloody
Did you mean "sport’s" or "sports’"?
sports’s
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
.

In conclusion
, watching bloodstained or aggressive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
feasible measures like
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
aimed at violence prevention and promotion of child protection within
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
should be
continuously
monitored and evaluated to determine their impact and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
improvements or adjustments to solve this popular problem.
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IELTS essay Children nowadays tend to watch bloody sports. What are the effects? What can be done to solve the problem?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
466 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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