Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Children nowadays spend more time on screens and less time doing active or creative things. Why do you think this is the case? What measures could be taken to encourage children to spend more time doing active and creative things.

Gone are the days of children riding their bikes without parental supervision, building treehouses and playing street cricket with their neighbourhood friends. The modern child is much more likely to be found indoors glued to a screen. In this essay, I will outline two key factors that are driving this trend and suggest ways youngsters can be redirected towards more physical and creative pursuits. In my view, the main reason why children spend so much time on their devices these days is simply because there is so much media to consume. Whereas youngsters in the past had to wait for their favourite shows to come on at a certain time, nowadays, thanks to services like Netflix and YouTube, they have access to an unprecedented amount of content. Not only is there more, but the quality is high and variety endless. As such, it can be difficult for children to turn off. Another factor contributing to the increasingly sedentary nature of young people is the rise in digital technology more broadly. With the internet on their phones, immersive video games on their laptops, not to mention the lure of social media and other addictive apps, children can struggle Children nowadays spend more time on screens and less time doing active or creative things. Why do you think this is the case? What measures could be taken to encourage children to spend more time doing active and creative things. Sign up for free at E2Language. com to disconnect and get out into the real world. Indeed, even primary aged children can be found hunched over their tablets at lunchtime rather than running around or engaging in imaginative play. To tackle this problem, parents need to play a more pivotal role. The first step is to set firm boundaries around screen time. If they do not, youngsters are unable to draw the line for themselves. Cutting off access to devices or establishing reasonable limits would force children to find another activity to entertain themselves. Regarding physical activity, this too falls to the parents. Given the powerful attraction of screens and devices, parents simply must physically remove their child from the house and model good behaviour themselves. Walking to school and going to the park after class are two easy ways parents can ensure their children are moving. In conclusion, while screens have always been alluring to children, resistance is now becoming almost impossible. In order to maintain balance for these young people, and to ensure they are exercising both mind and body, it is incumbent on parents to set limits and, more importantly, to set a good example themselves.
Gone
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: “is”.
are
the days of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
riding their bikes without parental

supervision, building treehouses and playing street cricket with their

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
neighbourhood
friends. The modern child is much more likely to
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.
be


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
found
indoors glued to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
screen
. In this essay, I will outline two
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.
key


factors that are driving this trend and suggest ways youngsters can be

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
redirected
towards more physical and creative pursuits.

In my view, the main reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on their

devices these days is
simply
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Use “many” with countable plural nouns like ‘media’.
much
media to

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
consume
. Whereas youngsters in the past had to wait for their
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.
favourite


This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
on at a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, nowadays, thanks to services like

Netflix and YouTube, they have access to an unprecedented amount of

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
content
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
is there more,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the quality is high and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.
variety


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
endless
. As such, it can be difficult for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to turn off.

Another factor contributing to the
increasingly
sedentary nature of young

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
people
If ‘people’ is plural here, don’t use the third-person singular verb.
is
the rise in digital technology more
broadly
. With the internet
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.
on


their phones, immersive video games on their laptops, not to mention

the lure of social media and other addictive apps,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can struggle

Children nowadays spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
screens
and less time

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
doing
active or creative things.

Why do you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is the case?

What measures could
be taken
to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to spend

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
doing active and creative things.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sign
up for free at E2Language.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
com


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
to
disconnect and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out into the real world.
Indeed
, even primary aged

children can
be found
hunched over their tablets at lunchtime
rather
than

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
running
around or engaging in imaginative play.

To tackle this problem,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
need to play a more pivotal role. The
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.
first


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
step
is to set firm boundaries around
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
screen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. If they do not,

youngsters are unable to draw the line for themselves. Cutting
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.
off


access to devices or establishing reasonable limits would force children

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
to
find another activity to entertain themselves. Regarding
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.
physical


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
activity
, this too falls to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
the powerful attraction
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.
of


screens and devices,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
simply
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
physically
remove their child

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
from
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and model
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Possible spelling mistake. ‘behaviour’ is British English.
behaviour
themselves. Walking
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.
to


school and going to the park after
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
are two easy ways
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
ensure
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are moving.

In conclusion
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
screens
have always been alluring to children,

resistance is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
becoming almost impossible. In order to
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.
maintain


balance for these young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, and to ensure they are exercising both

mind and body, it is incumbent on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to set limits and, more

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
importantly
, to set a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example themselves.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Children nowadays spend more time on screens and less time doing active or creative things. Why do you think this is the case? What measures could be taken to encourage children to spend more time doing active and creative things.

Essay
  American English
41 paragraphs
436 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts