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Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching television. However, television cannot replace the book as a learning tool, which is why children are less well‐educated today. To what extent do you agree with this statement v.9

Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching television. However, television cannot replace the book as a learning tool, which is why children are less well‐educated today. 9
By the advance of technology and the advent of television, some include television as the main reason for being less well educated among students. They also argue that television cannot assume as an educational tool and couldn’t be a substitute for books. Although I do not completely disagree with this idea, I believe there are some points need to be put forward about this which I will elaborate in the following paragraphs. All around the world children spend a great amount of time in front of the television set watching numerous programs which are mostly has produced just for entertainment them. According to psychological research were published, dedicating proper time for recreation is necessary for children and even adult which a part of this time could be allocated for watching television. Overly watching television could lead to not only educational drop but also obesity and related disease such as diabetes, therefore it should be under control. Since children are not able to schedule for their leisure time so they might end up watching tv more than they should, parents are responsible to be sure that their children are spending appropriate time watching television. Thus, assuming children are less educated today, parents should be blamed, not television. The other focus point is that though television or any other tech couldn’t and should not be considered as a substitute for books, some programs with educational purpose could be produced. In my opinion, it totally depends on us to how to use technologies to be less destructive and be more beneficial and television is not an exception. In conclusion, in our modern world with novel technologies and entertainments including television it’s hard to concentrate on the main aspects of life like education, family, exercising and etc. , especially for children. Therefore, parents should make sure that their children watch television only at times they have planned for them.
By the advance of technology and the advent of
television
,
some
include
television
as the main reason for being less
well educated
among students. They
also
argue that
television
cannot assume as an educational tool and couldn’t be a substitute for books. Although I do not completely disagree with this
idea
, I believe there are
some
points need to
be put
forward about this which I will elaborate in the following paragraphs.

All around the world
children
spend a great amount of
time
in front of the
television
set watching numerous programs which are
mostly
has produced
just
for entertainment them. According to psychological research
were published
, dedicating proper
time
for recreation is necessary for
children
and even adult which a part of this
time
could
be allocated
for watching
television
.
Overly
watching
television
could lead to not
only
educational drop
but
also
obesity and related disease such as diabetes,
therefore
it should be under control. Since
children
are not able to schedule for their leisure
time
so
they might
end
up watching
tv
more than they should, parents are responsible to be sure that their
children
are spending appropriate
time
watching
television
.
Thus
, assuming
children
are less educated
today
, parents should
be blamed
, not television.

The other focus point is that though
television
or any other tech couldn’t and should not
be considered
as a substitute for books,
some
programs with educational purpose could
be produced
. In my opinion, it
totally
depends on us to how to
use
technologies to be less destructive and be more beneficial and
television
is not an exception.

In conclusion
, in our modern world with novel technologies and entertainments including
television
it’s
hard
to concentrate on the main aspects of life like education, family, exercising
and etc
.
,
especially
for
children
.
Therefore
, parents should
make
sure that their
children
watch
television
only
at
times
they have planned for them.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching television. However, television cannot replace the book as a learning tool, which is why children are less well‐educated today. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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