Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching television. however, television cannot replace the book as a learning tool, which why children are less well educated today. to what extend do you agree with this statement. v.5

children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching television. however, television cannot replace the book as a learning tool, which why children are less well educated today. v. 5
The main reason behind children being less skilful these days is television. They prefer to watch the screen in their most of the time for study. Nevertheless, Books could not be replaced by moniters as a learning method. I totally agree with the statement that books are the best way to learn rather than TV. Firstly, children use computer, phones, television, etc. Because of the advancement in the technology. They find these innovations more convenient to use, whether related to study or entertainment purpose. For example, there are a number of sites or channels are available online who provides free material which make students work easy. Hence, they do not utilize their brain for classwork instead they use ready-made assignments online. Moreover, there are a plethora of entertainment sources such ad video games and many more attracted things which is the biggest distraction for the children. Therefore, availability of study and attracted things online make the adolescent indulging to the screens all the time. Although, plenty of study material provided online but, it cannot be replaced by books because of a number of reasons. First and the foremost is, by reading books children can enhance their vocabulary also, they can improve writing skills, What is more, reading is one of the methods to increase memory because reading is the best way to stimulate the brain. Hence, sharpen the memory. Conversely, when children watch TV, they focus on visual and audio but not on learning which is a waste of whereas books are not waste our time. To conclude, Although, television more entertaining than books, it cannot become a great tool for education as books for children and tv can never replace it.
The main reason behind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
being less
Possible spelling mistake. 'skilful' is British English.
skilful
these days is television. They prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the screen in their most of the time for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
.
Nevertheless
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Books
could not
be replaced
by
Possible spelling mistake found.
moniters
as a learning method. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are the best way to learn
rather
than TV.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
computer, phones, television, etc.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
of the advancement in the technology. They find these innovations more convenient to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
, whether related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
or entertainment purpose.
For example
, there are a number of sites or channels are available
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
who provides free material which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
students work easy.
Hence
, they do not utilize their brain for classwork
instead
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
ready-made assignments
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
.
Moreover
, there are a plethora of entertainment sources such ad video games and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more attracted things which is the biggest distraction for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Therefore
, availability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
and attracted things
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the adolescent indulging to the screens all the time.

Although,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
material provided
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, it cannot
be replaced
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of a number of reasons.
First
and the foremost is, by reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can enhance their vocabulary
also
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
writing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
,
What is more
, reading is one of the methods to increase memory
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
reading is the best way to stimulate the brain.
Hence
, sharpen the memory.
Conversely
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV, they focus on visual and audio
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not on learning which is a waste of whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are not waste our time.

To conclude
, Although, television more entertaining than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
, it cannot become a great tool for education as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
can never replace it.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching television. however, television cannot replace the book as a learning tool, which why children are less well educated today. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts