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Some people believe that a person’s intelligence is inherited from the parents, while others believe that their environment is the main factor. Discuss these views. Which factor do you think is mostly responsible for intelligence? v.1

Some people believe that a person’s intelligence is inherited from the parents, while others believe that their environment is the main factor. Discuss these views. Which factor do you think is mostly responsible for intelligence? v. 1
The origin of intelligence is getting scientists’ attention and continues to be a controversial topic. While I agree that it is inherited from parents, I also believe it comes from their environment. On the one hand, some people think that intelligence is inherited from the genes of their parents. Several researchers show that awareness of children is influenced by their parents, especially the mother. For example, if a mother is gifted in music or math, the child may be entitled. Furthermore, properly cared for mothers during pregnancy are likely to have a positive effect to the baby’s brain and cognitive ability. However, this is only a controversial part of the topic because scientists have not provided any specific evidence. On the other hand, others think that the main determinant of human intelligence is environmental impact. For instance, many people find that young children who were exclusively breastfed and had balanced diets, containing nutrients, including iodine will grow better than people of the same age. Furthermore, if their parent provides a good environment from their early childhood they are usually more knowledge than their peers. This will impact the brain, thus changing children’s thinking and behavior. In conclusion, although I think genetics is a decide of children’s intelligence but I also believe that environmental factors such as a balance diet and effective tutors are needed.
The origin of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
is getting scientists’ attention and continues to be a controversial topic. While I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it
is inherited
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, I
also
believe it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from their environment.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
is inherited
from the genes of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. Several researchers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that awareness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is influenced
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
,
especially
the mother.
For example
, if a mother
is gifted
in music or math, the child may
be entitled
.
Furthermore
,
properly
cared for mothers during pregnancy are likely to have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect to the baby’s brain and cognitive ability.
However
, this is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a controversial part of the topic
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
scientists have not provided any specific evidence.

On the other hand
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the main determinant of human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
is environmental impact.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
find that young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who were exclusively breastfed and had balanced diets, containing nutrients, including iodine will grow better than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of the same age.
Furthermore
, if their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
provides a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
environment from their early childhood they are
usually
more knowledge than their peers. This will impact the brain,
thus
changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
thinking and behavior.

In conclusion
, although I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
genetics is
After 'a', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'decide' is correct. If 'decide' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
a decide
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
also
believe that environmental factors such as a balance diet and effective tutors
are needed
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that a person’s intelligence is inherited from the parents, while others believe that their environment is the main factor. Discuss these views. Which factor do you think is mostly responsible for intelligence? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
224 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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