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Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching television. However, television cannot replace the book as a learning tool, which is why children are less well‐educated today. To what extent do you agree with this statement? v.32

Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching television. However, television cannot replace the book as a learning tool, which is why children are less well‐educated today. v. 32
Impact of watching television in present days on kids is making them lack of academic knowledge than spending a while on the books. I partially agree with this statement as in todays world some of the tv programs also help in children's education in various aspects. This essay will discuss how small screen has helped children acting as training guide as well as it also gives how it's affecting them by getting addicted to that Firstly, a small screen is helping kids and their parents as some of the these programmes and plays a key role in educating them in several manners As most of the channels show the plays how to behave, act or do your daily routines especially for the kids in the leaving stage. For instance, lots of kids events in the tv show how to brush, bath and also given them a fun filled education. Apart from this, it also provides entertainment for the little ones. On the other side, it is also showing adverse effects on the young people because they tend to get addicted to them and show less interest in their academic related issues. As a result of this, children get short in their knowledge where they need to focus more by spending more on books. For example, a recent survey conducted by a discovery channel declared that kids are becoming lazy by watching television and neglecting on their career. In addition to this, this also results in health related issues like blindness and restlessness. To conclude that, Spending lot's of time on television sets makes little ones less educated rather than spending more time on studies. Therefore, this can be overdone by setting a perfect time for tv along with the books.
Impact of watching television in present days on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
is making them lack of academic knowledge than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
a while on the books. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement as in
Possible spelling mistake found.
todays
world
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
programs
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in children's education in various aspects. This essay will discuss how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
screen has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
children acting as training guide
as well
as it
also
gives how it's affecting them by getting addicted to
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
that


Firstly
, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
screen is helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
and their parents as
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
these
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
and plays a key role in educating them in several manners As most of the channels
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the plays how to behave, act or do your daily routines
especially
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
in the leaving stage.
For instance
, lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
how to brush, bath and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
them a fun filled education. Apart from this, it
also
provides entertainment for the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
ones.

On the other side, it is
also
showing adverse effects on the young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
addicted to them and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
less interest in their academic related issues.
As a result
of this, children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
short in their knowledge where they need to focus more by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
more on books.
For example
, a recent survey conducted by a discovery channel declared that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
are becoming lazy by watching television and neglecting on their career.
In addition
to this, this
also
results in health related issues like blindness and restlessness.

To conclude
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Spending
Did you mean "lots"?
lot's
of time on television sets
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
ones less educated
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
more time on studies.
Therefore
, this can
be overdone
by setting a perfect time for
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
along with the books.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching television. However, television cannot replace the book as a learning tool, which is why children are less well‐educated today. v. 32

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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