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Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching television. However, television cannot replace the book as a learning tool, which is why children are less well‐educated today. To what extent do you agree with this statement? v.27

Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching television. However, television cannot replace the book as a learning tool, which is why children are less well‐educated today. v. 27
Children are becoming less well-educated today as they occupy most of their time watching television because TV cannot take place in the book as learning material. I completely agree with this statement and I believe, though television sometimes telecast diverse types of educative programs, it cannot be used as a substitute for a book. Even though educational programs are broadcast in addition to entertainment on television, it is not as effective as a book. This is because children always allured by several types of recreational programs such as cartoons, movies or sports rather than academic programs. For instance, most of the time they like to watch fanciful cartoons where unreal things are shown such as a superman can fly or a Spiderman can climb up the wall. Consequently, young adults learn unrealistic things and shy away from quality education. On the contrary, books are subject-specific and have a great amount of well-focused information for children to study. Besides getting information, it also helps children learn to read, write and make decisions. So, television cannot be similar to books for learning. Apart from that, television kills the creativity of youngsters. They get ideas from the screen, which is a barrier to stimulate their brain and come with fresh ideas of their own. They always lazy learners before the screen. On the other hand, books nourish their brain and enhance their thinking power. For example, when students watch any educational program on the television, they always get ready solutions so, they need not utilize their brains. Whereas, at the time of reading book they try to solve the problems their selves. Therefore, it can be said that a book is more significant than television for acquiring proper knowledge. To conclude, children are getting a poor quality education due to watching an excessive amount of television because it cannot take the place of a book. In my opinion, as a learning gadget, television is never equal to books despite broadcasting some education programs.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
are becoming less well-educated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
as they occupy most of their time watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
TV cannot take place in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
as learning material. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement and I believe, though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
telecast diverse types of educative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
, it cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as a substitute for a book.

Even though
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
are broadcast
in addition
to entertainment on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
, it is not as effective as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
always allured by several types of recreational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
such as cartoons, movies or sports
rather
than academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
.
For instance
, most of the time they like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
fanciful cartoons where unreal things
are shown
such as a superman can
fly
or a
Possible spelling mistake found.
Spiderman
can climb up the wall.
Consequently
, young adults learn unrealistic things and shy away from quality education.
On the contrary
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are subject-specific and have a great amount of well-focused information for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to study.
Besides
getting information, it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn to read, write and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
decisions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
cannot be similar to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
for learning.

Apart from that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
kills the creativity of youngsters. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
from the screen, which is a barrier to stimulate their brain and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with fresh
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. They always lazy learners
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the screen.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
nourish their brain and enhance their thinking power.
For example
, when students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
any educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
, they always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
ready solutions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, they need not utilize their brains.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, at the time of reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
they try to solve the problems their selves.
Therefore
, it can
be said
that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
is more significant than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
for acquiring proper knowledge.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are getting a poor quality education due to watching an excessive amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it cannot take the place of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
. In my opinion, as a learning gadget,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is never equal to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
despite broadcasting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching television. However, television cannot replace the book as a learning tool, which is why children are less well‐educated today. v. 27

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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