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Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching television. However, television cannot replace the book as a learning tool, which is why children are less well‐educated today. To what extent do you agree with this statement? v.12

Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching television. However, television cannot replace the book as a learning tool, which is why children are less well‐educated today. v. 12
With modernization of the television system, people can watch anything they wish for on their TV screens. The various applications that are available on digital screen today makes it easy for everyone to access almost everything on it. One single screen serves the purpose of a regular traditional TV, big google search engine or on demand entertainment provider. Because of this, children get attracted to their home screens and spend most of the time watching their favourites an prefer to learn new concepts by googling on the big screen. However, this device can never replace book as a learning tool. Hence, the children lack in the complete learning process. In this essay we will argue why it is pivotal to learn from books along with the digital media. On the one hand, books make the base of any learning since decades. Reading books make the offspring focus their brain on one particular framework. Furthermore, a research by Harvard says that reading books is essential to train your brain to focus on things. People who read more are expected to focus 40% more on things than those who do not read print. However, new digital learning has provided human with a great technique of developing learning, but this also gives options for them to look for new information every day. Hence, not focusing on one particular thing. To sum up, Television has widened its spectra from just entertainment to widespread learning, but it can never replace the focused learning that can only happen by concentrating on print media and with a habit of reading through books. I would suggest that digital and print media should go hand in hand to provide overall Holistic development of a juvenile to an intellectual and active adult.
With modernization of the television system,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
anything they wish for on their TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
screens
. The various applications that are available on digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
screen
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it easy for everyone to access almost everything on it. One single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
screen
serves the purpose of a regular traditional TV,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
google search engine or on demand entertainment provider.
Because of this
, children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
attracted to their home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
screens
and spend most of the time watching their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourites' is British English.
favourites
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
prefer to learn new concepts by googling on the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
screen
.
However
, this device can never replace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
tool.
Hence
, the children lack in the complete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
process. In this essay we will argue why it is pivotal to learn from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
along with the digital media.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the base of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
since decades. Reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the offspring focus their brain on one particular framework.
Furthermore
,
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
by Harvard says that reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
is essential to train your brain to focus on things.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who read more are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to focus 40% more on things than those who do not read print.

However
, new digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
has provided human with a great technique of developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this
also
gives options for them to look for new information every day.
Hence
, not focusing on one particular thing.

To sum up, Television has widened its spectra from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
entertainment to widespread
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it can never replace the focused
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
happen by concentrating on print media and with a habit of reading through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
. I would suggest that digital and print media should go hand in hand to provide
overall
Holistic development of a juvenile to an intellectual and active adult.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching television. However, television cannot replace the book as a learning tool, which is why children are less well‐educated today. v. 12

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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