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Talk about the kind of community service you would like to do.

Talk about the kind of community service you would like to do. dk2BX
Nowadays, the world has lots of types of organizations volunteer non-profit: help people, save animals, etc, students can join to learn many skill to helpful for their future and find new friends. Last year I joined a group foster animal, some types of people out there enjoy eating them and do not see them as a pet or a friend, they see animals as food. So In this group, we work and support each other when the number of animals is out of control, rescue them out of the human, every groups help each other, we do not know at this time we will work with who, we just know and care about animals. The situation about animals was abandoned more and more, lots of baby cats and dog were thrown in streets. I had joined and left after a year because this job makes me depressed. But also have good moments, when I joined, sees every animal I save have reborn with their new foster, who promise with to love and live with them forever. When I foster a cat, she very ferocious, she loses faith in people, but now, she grows up with her adoptive owner and becomes a mother with four children, how wonderful! sometimes, people asked me: why did I choose this activity at that time? Well, people can learn the way how to survive in this society, they can do all because we have thoughts, know all mankind but animals can’t, they don’t know how to cook, how to make money and buying food for themselves, they must run as fast as possible or they will be killed to make a good meal for human. Human nature always considers itself a superior species. Dogs and cats are originally born to be friends, not for meat. Sadly, in Vietnam, the law for dogs and cats is not effective, making ideological work even more difficult, so people who love animals don’t have choice is save them day by day and transmit for the next generation, teach them to love every creature, cause every animal to have a chance to survive.
Nowadays, the world has lots of types of organizations volunteer non-profit:
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, etc, students can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
to learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
to helpful for their future and find new friends. Last year I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
a group foster
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
out there enjoy eating them and do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
them as a pet or a friend, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
as food.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
In this group, we work and support each other when the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is out of control, rescue them out of the human, every groups
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
each other, we do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
at this time we will work with
Did you mean "whom"?
who
, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
and care about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. The situation about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
was abandoned
more and more, lots of baby cats and dog
were thrown
in streets. I had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
after a year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this job
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
me depressed.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
also
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
moments, when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sees
every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
I save have reborn with their new foster, who promise with to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with them forever. When I foster a cat,
It seems that a verb is missing.
she
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
ferocious, she loses faith in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, she grows up with her adoptive owner and becomes a mother with four children, how wonderful!
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
sometimes
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
asked me: why did I choose this activity at that time? Well,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can learn the way how to survive in this society, they can do all
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we have thoughts,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
all mankind
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
can’t, they don’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
how to cook, how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
money and buying food for themselves, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
run as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
as
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
possible or
they will
be killed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
meal for human. Human nature always considers itself a superior species. Dogs and cats are
originally
born to be friends, not for meat.
Sadly
, in Vietnam, the law for dogs and cats is not effective, making ideological work even more difficult,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
don’t have choice is
The word "save" is a verb. Did you mean the adjective "safe"?
save
them day by day and transmit for the
next
generation, teach them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
every creature, cause every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
to have a chance to survive.
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IELTS essay Talk about the kind of community service you would like to do.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
353 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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