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children make their own decisions now without asking their parents opinions

children make their own decisions now without asking their parents opinions y7X6d
It is critically important that we make right decisions in our lives, and children are not exceptions. In my opinion, nowadays children make their own decisions without relying on their parents. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay. First, life became complicated today compared to the past, which required humankind to make hundered decions each day. However, making correct moves is not as easy as it looks; therefore, we need to collect as much opinion as possible. Thanks to the easy access to the internet, we can acquire many information on things that we strugle on. We often hear people are easily connected with the internet, and they share their thoughts without any hesitation. By surfing on the internet we can learn different prospectives on the matter, and make the best decision without even bothering our parents. My personal experience is an excellent example. When I was young and wanted to decide if I should go in Mathematic or Physics major, I had to ask my parent to help me. I was not able to decide which one was better for my future, and my parents were my only available and reliable resources. However, now that my brother is in the same situation and needs to make a decision on his future major, he asks different people, those that are especifically majored in the field all around the world, and makes his decisions without asking our parent's opinion. Consequently, easily access to the internet thereafter people in the world, helped my brother to decide his major by his own. Second, parents need more time to think about their children problems to help them to make a good decisions. On the other hand, world's nature has changed and everything became more expensive than before. In the past, people never thought one day they should provide the best available phones and computers to their kids. Now every parents want to send their youth to the best schools which they are significantly expensive. Therefore, parents should work very hard to provide these facilities to their children. For example, when I was young, it was only my father that had to work, and my mom was staying home and was helping me with my schoolwork and solving my problems. I was directly asking my mother to help me decide which major I should pursue. However, my mother has to work now to help my father to provide food and other things to us. I never had computer and phone, but my brother asks for these stuff, which forced my mom also finds job. Thus, when my brother turned to my mother to help him, reasoning that she helped me in the past to make decision on my field, my mom was very busy even to listen to him. As a result, children left alone with their problems since their parent are not available, and they should make their own decisions. In conclusion, I firmly believe that children became more independent now compared to the past. This is because children can easily have access to the internet and seek other people thoughts all around the world and collect adequet information on their problems, and parents are more beasy nowadays since the world forced mothers to go out and find a job.
It is
critically
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that we
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make
right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are not exceptions. In my opinion, nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
without relying on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.

First
, life became complicated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
, which required humankind to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
Possible spelling mistake found.
hundered
Possible spelling mistake found.
decions
each day.
However
, making correct
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moves
is not as easy as it looks;
therefore
, we need to collect as much opinion as possible. Thanks to the easy access to the internet, we can acquire
Possible agreement error. The noun information seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much information", "a good deal of information".
many information
on things that we
Possible spelling mistake found.
strugle
on. We
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
hear
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people
are
easily
connected with the internet, and they share their thoughts without any hesitation. By surfing on the internet we can learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Possible spelling mistake found.
prospectives on
the matter, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
without even bothering our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. My personal experience is an excellent example. When I was young and wanted to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decide
if I should go in Mathematic or Physics
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
, I had to ask my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
me. I was not able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decide
which one was better for my future, and my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
were my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
available and reliable resources.
However
,
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now
that my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brother
is in the same situation and needs to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
on his future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
, he asks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, those that are
Possible spelling mistake found.
especifically
majored in the field all around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
without asking our parent's opinion.
Consequently
,
easily
access to the internet thereafter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brother
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decide
his
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major
by his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.

Second,
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parents
need more time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
.
On the other hand
, world's nature has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
and everything became more expensive than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
one day they should provide the best available phones and computers to their kids.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Now
every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "parent"?
parents
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their youth to the best schools which they are
significantly
expensive.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to provide these facilities to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
For example
, when I was young, it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
my father that had to work, and my mom was staying home and was helping me with my schoolwork and solving my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. I was
directly
asking my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
me
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decide
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
I should pursue.
However
, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
my father to provide food and other things to us. I never had computer and phone,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brother
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
asks for
these stuff, which forced my mom
also
finds job.
Thus
, when my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brother
turned to my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
him, reasoning that she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
on my field, my mom was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
busy even to listen to him.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
alone with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
since their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
are not available, and they should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
decisions.

In conclusion
, I
firmly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
became more independent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
easily
have access to the internet and seek other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
thoughts all around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
and collect
Possible spelling mistake found.
adequet
information on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are more
Possible spelling mistake found.
beasy
nowadays since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
forced mothers to go out and find a job.
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IELTS essay children make their own decisions now without asking their parents opinions

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
554 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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