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Children learn many things under the influence of family e.on and other argue that children learn many things under the influence of boobs friends and social media discuss both view and give your opinion .

Children learn many things under the influence of family e. on and other argue that children learn many things under the influence of boobs friends and social media KW2QN
to embark with first point of view children get more knowledge under the influence of their family and they learn family play a great role in the development of their children's life and they developed easily because family knows everything about their children. moreover children follow the instruction of their parents when they scold them and they behave very well with their children. Thus, children develop easily under the influence of family comment environment. they respect their parents. On other hand, with second point of view, children learn many things under the influence of social media friends and books, owing to the fact that children get more knowledge about many things from social media. Example there are many apps which children get knowledge about what is going on the world. Moreover, children learn many things from books because books have more knowledge about many things for example there are many books which are based on history, science, technology, games, environment and many more. Children's are well cognizance under the influence of social media, friends and books. apart from it, under the influence of friends children learn how to behave with others and how to compete with others and how to make a candid person. To sum up, under the influence of social media, friends and books, children easily get more knowledge and they easily developed under the influence of other environment and parents play a a great role in the development of their children.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
embark with
first
point of view
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
under the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
of their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
family and
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
play a great role in the development of their children's
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
they developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easily
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
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family
knows everything about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
moreover
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
follow the instruction of their parents when they scold
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
them and
they behave
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Thus
,
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children
develop
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easily
under the
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influence
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
comment environment.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
respect their parents. On
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other
hand, with second point of view,
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children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things under the
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influence
of
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social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
, owing to the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
. Example there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
apps which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
about what is going on the world.
Moreover
,
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children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
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because
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books
have more
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knowledge
about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things
for example
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
which
are based
on history, science, technology, games, environment and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more. Children's are well cognizance under the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
apart
from it, under the
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influence
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
how to behave with others and how to compete with others and how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a candid person.

To sum up, under the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
knowledge and
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easily
developed under the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
environment and parents play
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "a" or "a" is left.
a a
great role in the development of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
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IELTS essay Children learn many things under the influence of family e. on and other argue that children learn many things under the influence of boobs friends and social media

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
244 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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