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children engaged with paid works while studying

children engaged with paid works while studying J3a3E
In this world we have seen various types of people as well as pupils, regarding to this we would have seen different types of mentality, example our hand, if we see our hand, we don’t have same finger just like different or varieties people. The most imperative factor in the student life which based on the financial support, many scholars have it but some of have not it. Those scholars don’t have any financial support to the education, their predilection to “do work”, by reason of they think this way could be beneficial to create own backup plan which could be support financial to pay tuition fees or other expenses. Various pupils try to stick with independent. So, they makes their own way for creating own future. They always seeking for paid works to makes support. On the back side of coin, many of scholars refute this point. If the pupils working on any of the firm, they paid you worthy but pupils cannot be able to learn properly, because in firm, they sometimes put you in jeopardy, on that time you won’t escape from work rather than study. In the certain age, pupils have to focus on their study apart from money, reason of that during exam your mind would be distracted and pupils cannot be able to concentrate on study. If the pupils have good education, they could be achieve what they wish to have, scholars think “there is no point to wasting valuable time to make money rather study sincerely”. On the brighter side, many intellectuals deny this view. They believed, “the paid works while studying is marvelous idea”. If the pupils have paid work while education, they would learn basic knowledge about their society or surrounding mentality, it could be beneficial to create their own stage where they could express their idea or thoughts. The imperative factor is learn about their own responsibilities of their family or society, where they can suitably live. The valuable work experience always helps to pupils through various way by the reason of this paid works always helpful to pupils. The implications of that issues, “The pupils have to primly focus on their education rather than paid works. ” Because of education is one of the most imperative factor where they learn ideas an d tackle with problems. If pupils have got free time from study they could prefer to do paid work.
In this world we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
various types of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
,
The phrase 'regarding to' is not correct. Use "regarding" or "regard to".
regarding to
this we would have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of mentality, example our hand, if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
our hand, we don’t have same finger
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
or varieties
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

The most imperative factor in the student life which based on the financial support,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scholars
have it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of
Please check the order of words and the punctuation of this sentence!
have not it
. Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scholars
don’t have any financial support to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, their predilection to “do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work”
, by reason of they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this way could be beneficial to create
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
backup plan which could be support financial to pay tuition fees or other expenses. Various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
try to stick with independent.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "make"
makes
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
way for creating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
future.
Did you mean "They're always seeking", "They are always seeking", or "They were always seeking"?
They always seeking
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
works to
The verb after "to" should be in the base form: "make".
makes
support.

On the back side of coin,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scholars
refute this point. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
working on any of the firm, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
you worthy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
cannot be able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
properly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in firm, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
put you in jeopardy, on that time you won’t escape from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
. In the certain age,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
focus on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
apart from money, reason of that during exam your mind would
be distracted
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
cannot be able to concentrate on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, they could be
Consider using the past participle "achieved"?
achieve
what they wish to have,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scholars
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
“there is no point to wasting valuable time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
money
rather
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
sincerely
”.

On the brighter side,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
intellectuals deny this view. They believed, “the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
works while studying is marvelous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
”. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, they would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
basic knowledge about their society or surrounding mentality, it could be beneficial to create their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
stage where they could express their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
or thoughts. The imperative factor is
Consider using a past participle here: "learned", "learnt".
learn
about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
responsibilities of their family or society, where they can
suitably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. The valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
experience always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
through various way by the reason of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
works always helpful to pupils.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
implications of that issues, “The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
primly
focus on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
works. ”
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is one of the most imperative factor where they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
d tackle with problems.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
free time from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
they could prefer to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
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IELTS essay children engaged with paid works while studying

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
402 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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