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Children can learn effectively by simply watching television, therefore they should be allowed to do so to watch T. V. regularly at home and at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Children can learn effectively by simply watching television, therefore they should be allowed to do so to watch T. V. regularly at home and at school. v. 1
The modern day child is much more intellectually capable than their ancestral counterparts, partly because of the free flow of information on TV. This essay will discuss the advantages of television in learning. The complex structure of television, cable networks and behind the screen talent has played a major role in ushering in the era of information. Our children are part of a fractionally small part of mankind that has been fortunate enough to be born into this era In my humble opinion, the Television is a programmed information telecasting device, provided that the user has the ability to tune into the right programming offered. The modern television service is filled to the brim with educational shows ranging from animal behaviour to engineering, empowering kids to learn and explore these fields like never before. Studies show that a modern child will see a glimpse of their future profession by first seeing it on TV. From musicians, to car racers to scientists, using the television, children have the ability to explore curiosities that are far more outward bound than the restrictions of home or school. If the consumption of television is monitored and regulated in the right way by the concerning adult, namely, the teacher or the parent. Then a routine television experience can diversify the child's outlook on the world by helping them learn, from the most trivial things like using the right colours to paint their next school project to knowing how pistons work in combustion engines. This can further be ascertained by varying the television experience and home and school. For instance, an educational documentary at school about the harsh climate of mars would have the potential to spark a new generation of astronauts, while a wood working tutorial with parents at home can lay the foundations for a future woodworker. Thus, in conclusion, I strongly agree that television has become part of the modern day learning culture. This is evident in the noticeably better IQ, problem solving ability and global awareness of children today.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
day child is much more
intellectually
capable than their ancestral counterparts, partly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the free flow of information on TV. This essay will discuss the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
in learning. The complex structure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
, cable networks and behind the screen talent has played a major role
Adverb repetition. Please, verify.
in ushering in
the era of information. Our children are part of a
fractionally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
part of mankind that has been fortunate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
be born
into this
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
era


In my humble opinion, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
is a programmed information telecasting device, provided that the user has the ability to tune into the right programming offered. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
service
is filled
to the brim with educational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
ranging from animal
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
to engineering, empowering kids to learn and explore these fields like never
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. Studies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
child will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a glimpse of their future profession by
first
seeing it on TV. From musicians, to car racers to scientists, using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
, children have the ability to explore curiosities that are far more outward bound than the restrictions of home or school.

If the consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is monitored
and regulated in the right way by the concerning adult,
namely
, the teacher or the parent. Then a routine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
experience can diversify the child's outlook on the world by helping them learn, from the most trivial things like using the right
Possible spelling mistake. 'colours' is British English.
colours
to paint their
next
school project to knowing how pistons work in combustion engines. This can
further
be ascertained
by varying the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
experience and home and school.
For instance
, an educational documentary at school about the harsh climate of
The planet and the god are written with uppercase. 'mars' refers to the verb 'mar' meaning to spoil, or the plural of the noun 'mar' meaning blemishes.
mars
would have the potential to spark a new generation of astronauts, while a wood working tutorial with parents at home can lay the foundations for a future woodworker.

Thus
,
in conclusion
, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
has become part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
day learning culture. This is evident in the
noticeably
better IQ, problem solving ability and global awareness of children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Children can learn effectively by simply watching television, therefore they should be allowed to do so to watch T. V. regularly at home and at school. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
337 words
7.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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