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Children are the backbone of every country. So, there are people who tend to believe that children should be encouraged to initiate social work as it will result in flourished society and individualistic growth of youngsters themselves.

To begin with, social work by children can be easily associated with personality development because, during this drive, they tend to communicate with variety of people, leads to polished verbal skills. For example, if they start convincing rural people to send their children to school they have to be such a convincing attitude along with developed verbal skills to deal with diverse kind of people there. This improved skill will help them lifelong in every arena. Apart from this, the true values of life like tolerance, patience, team spirit, cooperation can be learned. Besides that, the young mind serves the country with full enthusiasm that gives the feeling of fulfilment and self-satisfaction. This worthiness for themselves brims them with self-confidence and patriotic feeling. Moreover, going and experiencing multiple culture and tradition make their horizon so broad that add one more feather in their cap. However, It is truly said, no rose without thrones. Can the drawbacks of this initiation be ignored? Children go to school, participate in different curriculum activities, endure the pressure of peers, parents, and teachers and in the competitive world, they should not be expected to serve society without their self-benefits. This kind of pressure might bring resentment in their mind. In conclusion, the notion of a teenager doing unpaid work is indeed good but proper monitoring and care should be given to avoid untoward consequences. Your opinion Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it. If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score. Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion. Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion: . . . do you agree or disagree? . . . do you think. . . ? . . . your opinion. . . ? Read more in the eBook The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ » * free ebook for Premium users Become Premium 00: 34: 15 7 Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more 2 Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer 6 Mistakes 4 paragraphs 265 words
To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, social work by children can be
easily
associated with personality development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, during this drive, they tend to communicate with variety of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, leads to polished verbal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
For example
, if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
convincing rural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their children to school they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be such a convincing attitude along with developed verbal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to deal with diverse kind of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
there. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them lifelong in every arena. Apart from this, the true values of life like tolerance, patience, team spirit, cooperation can
be learned
.
Besides
that, the young mind serves the country with full enthusiasm that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
the feeling of
Possible spelling mistake. ‘fulfilment’ is British English.
fulfilment
and self-satisfaction. This worthiness for themselves brims them with self-confidence and patriotic feeling.
Moreover
, going and experiencing multiple culture and tradition
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their horizon
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
broad that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
one more feather in their cap.

However
, It is
truly
said, no rose without thrones. Can the drawbacks of this initiation be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
? Children go to school, participate in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
curriculum activities, endure the pressure of peers, parents, and teachers and in the competitive world, they should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to serve society without their self-benefits. This kind of pressure might bring resentment in their mind.

In conclusion
, the notion of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
doing unpaid work is
indeed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
proper monitoring and care should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to avoid untoward consequences.

Your opinion

Don’t put your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
unless you
are asked
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
it.

If the question asks what you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
MUST
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
score.

Don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
:
Don’t put a space before the full stop.
.
Don’t put a space before the full stop.
.
Don’t put a space before the full stop.
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
do
you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
or disagree?
Don’t put a space before the full stop.
.
Don’t put a space before the full stop.
.
Don’t put a space before the full stop.
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
do
you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
If this is a question, use a question mark.
.
Don’t put a space before the full stop.
.
Don’t put a space before the full stop.
.
?
Don’t put a space before the full stop.
.
Don’t put a space before the full stop.
.
Don’t put a space before the full stop.
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
.
Don’t put a space before the full stop.
.
Don’t put a space before the full stop.
.
?

Read more in the
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The Ultimate Guide to
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00: 34: 15

7

Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more

2

Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer

6

Mistakes

4 paragraphs

265 words
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IELTS essay Children are the backbone of every country. So, there are people who tend to believe that children should be encouraged to initiate social work as it will result in flourished society and individualistic growth of youngsters themselves.

Essay
  American English
10 paragraphs
356 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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