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Children are taught to push them sleves to try and to be better than their classmates rather than work together for everyones profit. Do you think the advantages outweight its disadvantage.

Children are taught to push them sleves to try and to be better than their classmates rather than work together for everyones profit. Do you think the advantages outweight its disadvantage. Ork3M
Children are like clay, they can be moulded in any shape wanted. In contemporary era people think that children should be focusing on competition to compete them self with their classmates rather than work as join team for everyone's benefit. My stand, However is that both competition and co-operation are equally installed in to the children life. Therefore the disadvantages of competition are more than its advantages. There are certain merits for competition. To begin with, children are push them selves in to the competition and compete with their friends as results of that enhance self confidence in to children which is the most prominent merits of this. In addition to this, if children are involved in competition they can found their potential as well as know their worth is the another considerable advantage of it. There are many examples around us who got success in their life by compete with other in sport sectors. As the same time, there are more disappointed regarding to do not teach co-operation. Firstly, if children do not learn co-operative in their life, they can not gaining leadership and decisions making skill. Moreover they can not enhance their communication and management skills as well. Secondly, children who do not take part in co-operation, they are socially inadequate and introverted. I personally believe that, children should be taught both competition and co-operative as it is equally contributed in children life. It is necessary to teach child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
are like clay, they can be
Possible spelling mistake found.
moulded
in any shape wanted. In contemporary era
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should be focusing on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
to compete them self with their classmates
rather
than work as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
team for everyone's benefit. My stand,
However
is that both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
and co-operation are
equally
installed in to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
the disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
are more than its advantages. There are certain merits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are push
Did you mean "themselves"?
them selves
in to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
and compete with their friends as results of that enhance
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self confidence
in to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
which is the most prominent merits of this.
In addition
to this, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are involved
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
they can
This form is ambiguous and can be used as past tense. Confirm that you are using the intended base form of the main verb after 'to do' as an auxiliary verb..
found
their potential
as well
as know their worth is the another considerable advantage of it. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
examples around us who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
success in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
by compete with other in sport sectors. As the same time, there are more disappointed
The phrase 'regarding to' is not correct. Use "regarding" or "regard to".
regarding to
do not teach co-operation.
Firstly
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do not learn co-operative in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, they can not
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "gain"
gaining
leadership and decisions making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
they can not enhance their communication and management
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
as well
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in co-operation, they are
socially
inadequate and introverted. I
personally
believe that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be taught
both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
and co-operative as it is
equally
contributed in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. It is necessary to teach
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
child
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IELTS essay Children are taught to push them sleves to try and to be better than their classmates rather than work together for everyones profit. Do you think the advantages outweight its disadvantage.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
240 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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