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children are studying with calculators and computers while some argue that they should more with books. Give your opinion v.2

children are studying with calculators and computers while some argue that they should more with books. Give your opinion v. 2
Empowerment of children is utmost important because they are the backbone of the any society. But in this burgeoning era, where technology is growing very fast, so children inclined towards the usage of electronic devices for study. This is a big question books or gadgets? . So, this essay will describe which method is best for education along with my personal opinion To begin with, students are using electronic devices in order to save time, fast and for more accurate results. For instance in subject like operational research where calculations are in decimals and students prefer calculator where manual calculation is quite tough. Because of this toughness institutes also allow the use of electronics. In addition to this learning through electronic methods is more accessible and illustrative also. BYJU' S is the best example for online learning rather than traditional books. Moreover children bound to use the electronic ways to study because of cost effectiveness. On the contrary, it has adverse effects also. First of all electronic instruments is a big constraint for the overall development of the children. They becomes addictive to online games, chatting and modes of entertainment. Although work is done quickly, but students become more lazy and shirk work. So, they look for easy methods of wok and this also becomes the personality trait of the students. For an instance it has been surveyed by one of the newspaper that, children are not concentrative and serious towards study because of easy ways of teaching are used by public schools. As per my perspective, education should be combination of computers and books. Both are required for developing a intelligent and smart personalities who are going to be future of the nation.
Empowerment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is utmost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are the backbone of the any society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in this burgeoning era, where technology is growing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
inclined towards the usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
devices for study. This is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
question books or gadgets?
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, this essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
which method is best for education along with my personal opinion

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
devices in order to save time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and for more accurate results.
For instance
in subject like operational research where calculations are in decimals and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
prefer calculator where manual calculation is quite tough.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
of this toughness institutes
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of electronics.
In addition
to this learning through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
methods is more accessible and illustrative
also
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
BYJU&
#039; S is the best example for online learning
rather
than traditional books.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
bound to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
ways to study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
cost effectiveness
.

On the contrary
, it has adverse effects
also
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
instruments is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
constraint for the
overall
development of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. They
Possible agreement error -- use base form here: "become".
becomes
addictive to online games, chatting and modes of entertainment. Although work
is done
quickly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
become more lazy and shirk work.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they look for easy methods of wok and this
also
becomes the personality trait of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. For an instance it has
been surveyed
by one of the newspaper that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are not
Possible spelling mistake found.
concentrative
and serious towards study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of easy ways of teaching are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by public schools.

As per my perspective, education should be combination of computers and books. Both
are required
for developing
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
intelligent and smart personalities who are going to be future of the nation.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
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IELTS essay children are studying with calculators and computers while some argue that they should more with books. Give your opinion v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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