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children are found to have fewer responsibilities

children are found to have fewer responsibilities jQbJd
Children nowadays bear less responsibilities and duties than they used to, some people think that it's better for them, becase children have more time to deal with their academic responsibilities, rather than duties concering the family in general. Furthermore, children have less in their mind, consequintly children have more mental capacity for school work, which means they do better in school, thusly, they achieve more in respect to academia, which make them more sucessful. That's the logic of the people who claim that children should bear less responsibilities. However, this approach may be effictive in terms of academic sucess, other people claim that if children only foucsed on school work and academic achievment, they will not be ready to bear responsibilities when they become adults and have to face the real world, they will not have the soft skills necessary to flourish in the workplace, making them failures in their careers. Certinaly both sides have good arguments to back their claims, but I beileve that children should indeed have more responsibilities than what they currently have. Even though I think that children should foucus on academic sucsess, I also believe that bearing responsibilities is an essintal part of their devolpment, and it is verily possible for the child, if his/her parents are wise, to thrive academicly and be responsibile of many other things at the same. In conclusion, while it is necessary to care for children academic career, it is also necessary to make sure that the child is ready to go out to the world.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
nowadays bear
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun responsibilities is countable.
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
and duties than they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it's better for them,
Possible spelling mistake found.
becase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have more time to deal with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
,
rather
than duties
Possible spelling mistake found.
concering
the family
in general
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have less in their mind,
Possible spelling mistake found.
consequintly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have more mental capacity for school work, which means they do better in school,
Possible spelling mistake found.
thusly
, they achieve more in respect to academia, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them more
Possible spelling mistake found.
sucessful
. That's the logic of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should bear
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun responsibilities is countable.
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
.
However
, this approach may be
Possible spelling mistake found.
effictive
in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
Possible spelling mistake found.
sucess
, other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Possible spelling mistake found.
foucsed
on school work and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
Possible spelling mistake found.
achievment
, they will not be ready to bear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
when they become adults and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face the real world, they will not have the soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
necessary to flourish in the workplace, making them failures in their careers.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Certinaly
both sides have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
arguments to back their claims,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
Possible spelling mistake found.
beileve
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
indeed
have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
than what they
currently
have.
Even though
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
Possible spelling mistake found.
foucus
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
Possible spelling mistake found.
sucsess
, I
also
believe that bearing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
is an
Possible spelling mistake found.
essintal
part of their
Possible spelling mistake found.
devolpment
, and it is
verily
possible for the child, if his/her parents are wise, to thrive
Possible spelling mistake found.
academicly
and be
Possible spelling mistake found.
responsibile
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other things at the same.

In conclusion
, while it is necessary to care for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
career, it is
also
necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that the child is ready to go out to the world.
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IELTS essay children are found to have fewer responsibilities

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
256 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
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