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Children are becoming more addicted to television and are attempting to avoid other activities. To reduce the amount of time spent on the screen, people must identify some reasons and make appropriate suggestions.

Children are becoming more addicted to television and are attempting to avoid other activities. To reduce the amount of time spent on the screen, people must identify some reasons and make appropriate suggestions. DoKoW
Television appears to play an important role in our lives today. Children are becoming more addicted to television and are attempting to avoid other activities. To reduce the amount of time spent on the screen, people must identify some reasons and make appropriate suggestions. To begin with, technology is becoming more advanced and widespread with everyone. People can easily enjoy programs on high-quality TVs with vibrant colors, as opposed to black and white televisions in the past. Secondly, TV shows are more diverse, encompassing a wide range of genres. For example, according to the statistics of TV stations, there are about 50 appealing animated films with creative content, as well as entertainment programs featuring public figures, making young people enticing. Another reason is that parents are constantly preoccupied with work and do not have time to care for their children or remind them when their children spend too much time watching television. As a result, children become accustomed to a sedentary lifestyle and enjoy watching television on a daily basis. Teenagers can be encouraged to pursue a positive lifestyle by a variety of methods. Firstly, the local institutions should organize many outdoor activities for students, for example physical activities, extracurricular activities and sometimes, organizing a camping or a field trip is really wonderful, which not only helps children participate in outdoor activities but also gives them the opportunity to broaden their horizons. Furthermore, parents must devote more time to their children. Parents should take the time to remind and provide valuable advice to their children in order for them to understand and overcome their situation. It would also be fantastic if they could take their children out on weekends. Finally, children are becoming increasingly eager to watch television. Family, school, and society are all big determinants in encouraging children to live a healthier lifestyle and break bad habits. .
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
appears to play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
are becoming more addicted to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
and are attempting to avoid other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spent on the screen,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
identify
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
appropriate suggestions.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, technology is becoming more advanced and widespread with everyone.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
can
easily
enjoy programs on high-quality TVs with vibrant colors, as opposed to black and white
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
televisions
in the past.
Secondly
, TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
are more diverse, encompassing a wide range of genres.
For example
, according to the statistics of TV stations, there are about 50 appealing animated films with creative content,
as well
as entertainment programs featuring public figures, making young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
enticing. Another reason is that parents are
constantly
preoccupied with work and do not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to care for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
or remind them when their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
become accustomed to a sedentary lifestyle and enjoy watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
on a daily basis.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Teenagers
can
be encouraged
to pursue a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
lifestyle by a variety of methods.
Firstly
, the local institutions should organize
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
for students,
for example
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, extracurricular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
, organizing a camping or a field trip is
really
wonderful, which not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
participate in outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
gives them the opportunity to broaden their horizons.
Furthermore
, parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
devote more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Parents should take the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to remind and provide valuable advice to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in order for them to understand and overcome their situation. It would
also
be fantastic if they could take their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
out on weekends.

Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are becoming
increasingly
eager to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
. Family, school, and society are all
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
determinants in encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a healthier lifestyle and break
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
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IELTS essay Children are becoming more addicted to television and are attempting to avoid other activities. To reduce the amount of time spent on the screen, people must identify some reasons and make appropriate suggestions.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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