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Children are becoming lazy , unsociable and fat. Why it happened ? How we should do ?

Children are becoming lazy, unsociable and fat. Why it happened? How we should do? KGxX0
It seem to be an increasingly widespread phenomenon that juveniles are more lazy and unsocial. As far as I am concerned, this trend caused by many reasons, which can be tackled by using appropriate measures. It is possibly said that this issue may caused by some main factors. One of the prominent reasons concerning this problem is that the development of digitalization. Nowadays, teenagers are stressed because of studying, so they decide to play games as an activity help them reduce tension after school instead of playing sports as they made them feel more exhaust and strain. Another factor leading to this situation is the spread of fast food. As their name suggests, a quick meal only takes a few minute to prepare. Thus, it is greatly convenient for children as they can bring along with them regardless time and place. In truth, some imperative solutions ought to be taken to resolve these prospective issues. Firstly, parents should encourage their children to take part in many outdoor activities instead of playing games or watching TV programs. In doing so, youngsters will avoid eye related diseases such as nearsightedness and dry eyes. Doing exercises or playing sports may boost their immune systems and reduce the likelihoods of infected many dangerous diseases namely long-term health problems such as obesity, heart disease and diabetes. Moreover, strength bond relationship with people around them. Secondly, it is necessary for the government to add high taxes to the normal price of junk food, teenagers will have a tendency to reduce their demands for consume those types of food. Hence, this would reduce the number of consumption per day and result would be a healthier nation. In conclusion, there are indeed various reasons regarding the increasing number of young generations become isolated and obesity, yet they can be solve once according above measures are enlisted imperatively,
It
seem
to be an
increasingly
widespread phenomenon that juveniles are more lazy and unsocial. As far as I
am concerned
, this trend caused by
many
reasons, which can
be tackled
by using appropriate measures. It is
possibly
said that this issue may caused by
some
main factors. One of the prominent reasons concerning this problem is that the development of digitalization. Nowadays,
teenagers
are
stressed
because
of studying,
so
they decide to play games as an activity
help
them
reduce
tension after school
instead
of playing sports as they made them feel more exhaust and strain. Another factor leading to this situation is the spread of
fast
food. As their name suggests, a quick meal
only
takes a
few minute
to prepare.
Thus
, it is
greatly
convenient for children as they can bring along with them regardless time and place. In truth,
some
imperative solutions ought to
be taken
to resolve these prospective issues.
Firstly
, parents should encourage their children to
take part
in
many
outdoor activities
instead
of playing games or watching TV programs. In doing
so
, youngsters will avoid eye related diseases such as nearsightedness and dry eyes. Doing exercises or playing sports may boost their immune systems and
reduce
the likelihoods of infected
many
dangerous
diseases
namely
long-term health problems such as obesity, heart disease and diabetes.
Moreover
, strength bond relationship with
people
around them.
Secondly
, it is necessary for the
government
to
add
high taxes to the normal price of junk food,
teenagers
will have a tendency to
reduce
their demands for consume those types of food.
Hence
, this would
reduce
the number of consumption per day and result would be a healthier nation.
In conclusion
, there are
indeed
various reasons regarding the increasing number of young generations become isolated and obesity,
yet
they can be
solve
once
according above
measures
are enlisted
imperatively
,
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IELTS essay Children are becoming lazy, unsociable and fat. Why it happened? How we should do?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
309 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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