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Child education determines you as an adult

Child education determines you as an adult eelGG
When you are a little kid your parents are everything to you and what you hear, see, and learn from them, is what you think is right. That is why, it is a real issue that parents are forcing their children to work instead of going to school and learn new things every day. This problem is present in a lot of countries, but it is more common in the underdeveloped ones, because they do not know the importance of learning, and they have the need to earn something so they can eat and live. In Mexico it is very common to see children working on the streets, it is notorious that parents are forcing them to work to keep what they earn. Child labour is a global issue that prevents children from achieving their goals or potentials. This violates children's rights, affects their mental and physical health, as well as stopping them from going to school. But it is not always illegal. A human being throughout his life goes through different stages that are really important to live, because each period develops a skill that will help through it. During childhood, kids learn to detect and manage emotions, they acquire tools that will facilitate them to face problems, learn how to relate with others and notice that they are people, these factors make them unique. Through the games they develop creativity and their own identity. This is one of the million reasons why child labour is a problem, parents are interrupting their main processes and keeping their kids from going through the experiences a normal kid needs to live. It is understandable that fathers are not aware of what they are causing their descendants' integral development by sending them to work. And that they do not do this to heart them in the majority of cases is for a basic necessity like to be able to buy medicines, have some money to eat or drink. Sometimes parents as well as their kids, went through the same experience, so no one taught them how important education is, to nourish the skills and opportunities to have a decent work or life. According to UNESCO, in Mexico there are 3. 1 million kids who do not attend school. But 651, 000 children between the age of 7 and 14, which is at least 21 percent of the Mexican population, who are forced to work instead of attending school. The most common reason is to get an extra income for their families. A child's labour costs 5. 7% of what an adult makes, so they prefer to employ children because they do not eat much, do not complain, and do not require job benefits. Children have individual rights which are violated when they are employed, such as the right to live with dignity, their right to food, health, education, play, and their right to their own identity. I think Mexico has a long journey to solve social, work, economic, gender equality… issues. The point is not to lose the target and keep working to get it.
When you are a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are everything to you and what you hear,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
from them, is what you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
.
That is
why, it is a real issue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are forcing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
instead
of going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
new things every day. This problem is present in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
countries,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is more common in the underdeveloped ones,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not know the importance of learning, and they have the need to earn something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can eat and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. In
The comma is probably missing here: "Mexico, it".
Mexico it
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
working on the streets, it is notorious that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are forcing them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
what they earn.

Child
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
is a global issue that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from achieving their goals or potentials. This violates children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
, affects their mental and physical health,
as well
as stopping them from going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it is not always illegal.

A human being throughout his life goes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
stages that are
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
each period develops a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
it. During childhood,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
to detect and manage emotions, they acquire tools that will facilitate them to face problems,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
how to relate with others and notice that they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, these factors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them unique.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Through
the games they develop creativity and their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
identity. This is one of the million reasons why child
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
is a problem,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are interrupting their main processes and keeping their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
from going
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
the experiences a normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
needs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.

It is understandable that fathers are not aware of what they are causing their descendants' integral development by sending them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. And that they do not do this to heart them in the majority of cases is for a basic necessity like to be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
medicines, have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money to eat or drink.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
as well
as their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
, went
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
the same experience,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
no one taught them how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
education is, to nourish the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and opportunities to have a decent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or life.

According to UNESCO, in Mexico there are 3. 1 million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
who do not attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
651, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
between the age of 7 and 14, which is at least 21 percent of the Mexican population, who
are forced
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
instead
of attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. The most common reason is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an extra income for their families.

A child's
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
costs 5. 7% of what an adult
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they prefer to employ
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not eat much, do not complain, and do not require job benefits.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
have individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
which
are violated
when they
are employed
, such as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with dignity, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
to food, health, education, play, and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
identity.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
Mexico has a long journey to solve social,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, economic, gender equality… issues. The point is not to lose the target and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
working to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
it.
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IELTS essay Child education determines you as an adult

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
513 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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