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changes in price of fresh fruits and vegetables

changes in price of fresh fruits and vegetables 0AW31
The graphical representation depicts the change in the rates of fresh fruits and vegetables, sugars and sweets, and carbonated drinks between the time period of 1978 to 2009. In 1978 all the products had the almost the same price of around 60 units. Gradually, the charges of each items increased over the time. In 2009, fresh fruits and vegetables had the highest cost of about 335 whereas carbonated drinks had the lowest price of all, that is, near to 150 units. The change of cost over the given period was steadily increased for consumer-price index as well as sugar and sweets, started from around 60 units each to about 210 and 200 units respectively. Fresh fruits and vegetables had the winding pattern in terms of changes of cost, but showed the greater difference between initial value in 1978 to final value in 2009 compared to the rest products. Till 1986, all items had the same price of about 100 units. Fresh fruits and vegetables had shown a fall of around 20 units in 1984.
The graphical representation depicts the
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change
in the rates of
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fresh
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fruits
and
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vegetables
, sugars and sweets, and carbonated drinks between the time period of 1978 to 2009.

In 1978 all the products had
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the almost the
same price of around 60
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units
.
Gradually
, the charges of each
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items
increased over the time. In 2009,
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fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fruits
and
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vegetables
had the highest cost of about 335 whereas carbonated drinks had the lowest price of all,
that is
, near to 150 units.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
of cost over the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period was
steadily
increased for consumer-price index
as well
as sugar and sweets,
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started
from around 60
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units
each to about 210 and 200
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units
respectively
.
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Fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fruits
and
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vegetables
had the winding pattern in terms of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
of cost,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
the greater difference between initial value in 1978 to final value in 2009 compared to the rest products.

Till 1986, all items had the same price of about 100
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units
.
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Fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fruits
and
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vegetables
had shown a fall of around 20
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units
in 1984.
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IELTS essay changes in price of fresh fruits and vegetables

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
174 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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