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In most of the societies, the role of mother and father differs. What are the causes of this difference? What will be the parental roles in future?

In most of the societies, the role of mother and father differs. What are the causes of this difference? What will be the parental roles in future? RNlqk
Parents play an important, incredible and central role in children’s life. And, the responsibilities varies as being father and mother. In this essay I will not only describe the reasons but also shows the parental life in future. To begin with, first and foremost reason is, in eastern countries, mother is supposed to do nurture their child and do each and every house hold work. They are not preferred to go outside and earn money. Whereas, father is the only one from the family to earn bread. And so, father can not, look after their child as they spend more time out of the house. Because of this reason, child get attached more emotionally with their mother. Furthermore, society affects the most of parents life. In many societies females are of shy nature and uneducated. As they are not well educated, they can not earn money and so they remain to do house hold work and look after their child. To describe in deep, for example, in the recent survey of USA, that shows that, the education level of woman is very low as compare to man. Even if they want to study, society will not let them do as they are very narrow minded. Moreover, in this paragraph, I will show the situation of parents in the future. As we are leaving in the era of globalisation and modernisation, the parental responsibilities will get differ as of now. In future, most of the women will well-educated, bold and smart enough to take care of their child and earn bread at the same time. Sometimes it might even possible that, father will take care of a child and mother will do job. To conclude, as per time get change, the role and responsibility of parent get differ as well.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, incredible and central role in children’s life. And, the responsibilities varies as being
Consider using a past participle here: "fathered".
father
and mother. In this essay I will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
the reasons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the parental life
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
first
and foremost reason is, in eastern countries, mother
is supposed
to do nurture their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
and do each and every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
hold work. They are not preferred to go outside and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
money.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one from the family to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
bread. And
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
can not, look after their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
as they spend more time out of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.
Because of this
reason,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
attached more
emotionally
with their mother.

Furthermore
, society affects the most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
life. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
societies females are of shy nature and uneducated. As they are not
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well educated
, they can not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
money and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they remain to do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
hold work and look after their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
in deep,
for example
, in the recent survey
A determiner is probably missing here: "of the USA".
of USA
, that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that, the education level of woman is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low as compare to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
. Even if they want to study, society will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them do as they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
narrow minded
.

Moreover
, in this paragraph, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the situation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in the future. As we are leaving in the era of
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'modernisation' is British English.
modernisation
, the parental responsibilities will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
differ as of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
Did you mean: "In the future"?
In future
, most of the women will well-educated, bold and smart
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to take care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
bread at the same time.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
it might even possible that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
will take care of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
and mother will do job.

To conclude
, as per time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
, the role and responsibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
differ
as well
.
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IELTS essay In most of the societies, the role of mother and father differs. What are the causes of this difference? What will be the parental roles in future?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
299 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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